Finding proper foster parents for the many children living in state custody is an on-going battle. Some families are happy to take in foster children in the hopes they find a supportive environment until they are legally adopted. It takes a generous soul with a unique ability to overcome heart ache to offer a home of this sort. Other faster parents find they have grown so attached to their foster children that they adopt the children and remove themselves from the fostering system. Gay and lesbian couples didn't always have the "right" to open their homes to foster children, but growing concern about children growing up in orphanages and group homes has forced the foster care system to open the doors to gay and lesbian couples.
Why Were Gay Men and Lesbians Not Allowed to Foster Children?
The foster care system is based on the same laws as the United States government. As little as 10 years ago, gays and lesbians were allowed no legal rights as couples or as parents. Great advances have come in the last 5 years when experts started realizing the positive impact gay and lesbian couples could have on the lives of children who otherwise would be lost in group care for all of their young lives.
Gay and lesbian couples who wish to be parents have the option to apply as foster parents. They will have to undergo the same rigorous application process complete with home visits and references. Once approved, foster children will be assigned to the home and parents given a stipend to help cover care and expenses.
Foster care is not a permanent situation and children can be removed from foster care for a variety of reasons. If the foster parents no longer wish to care for the child, they can ask for reassignment. Other reasons a child may be removed from the home include personal wishes of the child or restoration of parental rights.
Some children stay in foster homes for many years without ever being adopted by the foster parents. Others remain in a foster home for years only to be pulled from the home by a biological parent leaving the fostering couple devastated at the loss of a child.
Gay and lesbian couples who wish to open their homes as foster parents need only apply at the local agency for approval. Some states are more respectful of gay and lesbian rights and others are not.
Information on Fertility and Pregnancy you can Trust.
Amos Grunebaum M.D. is a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist in one of the top 10 hospitals in the United States. In addition to providing pregnant women researched information on pregnancy at BabyMed.com, Amos specializes in gay parenting.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Amos_Grunebaum_M.D.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Reading is Gay, Fundamental and Valuable - Pick Up Gay Books and Read
Gay men are stereotypically described as "artsy." In that light, it would make sense that gay men are all readers. Of course, we know that not to be so; otherwise, gay tomes would top the best-seller charts. Then again, many of them do just that. Well, at least Maurice Sendak's "Where The Wild Things Are" rests at number 23 this week, according to USA Today.
Some of the very best writing every published came from the minds and pens of gay writers. To miss out on some of this literature would be a shame. Just think - William Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin, T.E. Lawrence, Herman Melville, E.M. Forster, W. Somerset Maugham. Some of the greatest names in literature, drama, poetry are those of gay men.
A recent publication is Richard Canning's Fifty Gay and Lesbian Books Everybody Should Read (discussed in more detail later). It would seem that for all the years that the written word has been in print that 50 would be a bare minimum for someone to get through. After all, there are books of gay fiction, non-fiction, plays, poetry, fantasy, biography...and the list goes on.
Clearly, in reading some of our favorite authors, there is much to learn. Often, the protagonists are gay themselves, and we can get a particular insight into the mores of the times, the culture of the times, even the acceptance or lack thereof for those who are gay by the remainder of the population. It is worthwhile to invest in a library that will complement the copies of Unzipped, Manhunt and all the other fleshy magazines that constitute the gay genre.
Herewith, a synopsis of some of the most interesting, provocative, beneficial and smart books that have been produced by gay authors. Check them out and see if you're not enchanted and enlightened.
In the Eye of the Storm: Swept to the Center by God, written by Bishop Eugene Robinson
Eugene Robinson is Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire. Because he is gay and a bishop, of course, there is a world of controversy surrounding the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion. His book provides us with an insightful view of his life, the faith that he has professed and continues to follow and the tempest that surrounds him.
The Mayor of Castro Street, written by Randy Shilts
Harvey Milk was a hero for so many gay men, and remains so. His life was portrayed for all the world to see in the 2008 motion picture "Milk," for which Sean Penn won the Academy Award as Best Actor. The 1984 film "The Times of Harvey Milk" was awarded the Academy Award for Best Documentary. Milk was known as "The Mayor of Castro Street," and he was San Francisco's first openly gay man to win elective office, to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Here, Shilts gives us a look at Milk's personal life as well as his public life. His 1996 assassination galvanized the gay community throughout the nation. This is a powerful read, worth the trouble for anyone who's seen the movie, and a valuable re-read for those who've already taken the time to read it.
Role Models, written by John Waters
Has there been a more inventive, albeit controversial, moviemaker in our lifetimes than John Waters? His work with Divine; and his marvelous, subversive sense of humor and timing; have led us to some of the best movies of the generation. Here, he provides us with an amusing ride through the influences he has had throughout his career - people like sexy crooner Johnny Mathis, the controversial atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair, noted playwright Tennessee Williams - all to let us know where in the world John Waters is coming from. His comedic sense will delight and entrance.
Tales of the City, written by Armistead Maupin
Maupin's splendid tale of the inhabitants of the legendary 28 Barbary Lane has enchanted millions throughout the past three decades. Life is no longer as it is, and the moments and circumstances of the changing landscape are captured in his engaging and humorous prose. Of course, the inquisitive reader will want to take advantage of the entire series of stories, evocative of the changes in our lives that have taken place.
A Single Man, written by Christopher Isherwood
Despite his loneliness, George, a middle-aged, gay Englishman, must adapt to his new life as a single man, following the sudden death of his partner. The novel takes place in Southern California, where George is a professor. Alienated as he is from society, we see his joy of life through the contact he has with the outside world, in combination with his own considerations of life. We experience the very fabric of life in this humorous, ironic and somber novel. Edmund White called it "one of the first and best novels of the modern gay liberation movement."
The Berlin Stories, written by Christopher Isherwood
The Berlin Stories comprises two novellas, The Last of Mr. Norris and Goodbye to Berlin, set in Berlin in 1931, as the Hitler and the Nazi party were rising to power. In the first, Mr. Norris, a nefarious sort, is befriended by the narrator, one William Bradshaw. The second, reflected of Isherwood's own experiences in Berlin, contain reflections from various friends, acquaintances, landlords, roommates and others as they navigate through the charms and vices of Berlin. Sally Bowles, introduced as a character in the second, lived on in stage and screen presentations of "I Am A Camera" and "Cabaret."
Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked The Gay Revolution, written by David Carter
The 1969 riots against the police in Greenwich Village, precipitated by a raid on The Stonewall Inn, a gay bar, changed history. Perhaps the first time that homosexuals fought back against the political system that persecuted them, Stonewall is seen as the benchmark for the institution of civil rights for gays. Carter's research provides extraordinary detail into the riots, the aftermath and the full story of one of the most significant events in gay history.
The Meaning of Matthew, written by Judy Shepherd.
Matthew Shepard was beaten to death in 1998 simply because he was gay. His death signaled a change in the American temperament as it related to hate crimes. Since his death, we have seen a greater acceptance of gays and lesbians by society, and the expansion of various rights. Nevertheless, the struggle continues, and now Judy Shepherd, Matthew's mom, lets us into her life and the changes that resulted from his heartbreaking death. Motivated to activism, she worked vigilantly for the passage of the hate crimes bill that was signed into law late in 2009.
The Best Little Boy in the World, written by Andrew Tobias
Here is a tome that has been suggested, re-suggested and continually touted as a must-read for someone trying to come to grips with the indication that he may be gay. Tobias' own website asks the question, "What's this book about?" and then provides the answer: "Don't ask, don't tell." And, of course, The New York Times described it as "uniquely frank." When he wrote it, he had to use a pseudonym, John Reid, because the subject was taboo. That best little boy didn't masturbate, he honored his parents, he was an honors student and athlete and an extraordinary corporate executive. He was also a closet case. As the Times also said, "one reads this utterly honest account with the shock of recognition." Twenty-five years later, Tobias wrote "The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up," which ought to be on this list as well.
Maurice, written by E.M. Forster
We first meet Maurice as a 14-year-old and in public school; we follow him to Cambridge, where he excels and moves into his father's brokerage business. Growing into the business and into life as a typical Cambridge man, Maurice is everything his Dad wishes for him to be, except for one small item - he is homosexual. Forster's novel is said "to be ahead of its time" because of the gay theme and the thought that there could actually be happiness in the love between men. Sadly, not every gay couple in these times sees the happiness that they desire.
Waiting to Land, written by Martin Duberman
Duberman brings us up to date, covering the period from 1985 to 2008, as a follow-up to his two previous autobiographical books, Cures and Midlife Queer. Here he tells us of his establishment of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies (CLAGS) and his service on the original board of Queers for Economic Justice. He expresses his disdain for what he's seen in the gay movement; his thoughts that as gay becomes more mainstream in society, there is a loss of uniqueness and standing for earlier ideals becomes less evident. Maintaining a sense of primacy in the gay movement is paramount in his mind, and there's undoubtedly plenty of proverbial "food for thought" in this meaty memoir.
The Naked Civil Servant, written by Quentin Crisp
Crisp was flamboyant, having made it a priority to let the world know that his homosexuality wasn't going to prevent him from enjoying life as it was intended for him, nor that it should deter any other gay man from enjoyment. He says "as soon as I stepped out of my mother's womb, I realized that I'd made a mistake." In comedic terms, and with all frankness, Crisp tells of his encounters with his parents, soldiers and sailors, the law, making it clear that his intent was to live life unvarnished.
Mapping the Territory, written by Christopher Bram
Bram, an essayist of renown over the last quarter century, has accumulated, in this first non-fiction book, a variety of topics, including his coming-out in Virginia in the 1970s. He also discusses why he and his partner are not desirous of marriage, how it felt to see his novel Gods and Monsters be made into an Academy-Award winning movie with the great gay actor Ian McKellan. Bram also tells us of some of the reading he did when he was coming to grips with himself as a gay man. He provides us with his insight on Greenwich Village, and shares his ideas on life with wit, elan and grace.
Fifty Gay and Lesbian Books Everybody Should Read, written by Richard Canning
Undoubtedly, many readers have picked up some of the texts that are contained in this collection of essays from a wide variety of critics, authors and others. It is illuminating to recognize the need to sample the thoughts of so many who've opined on gay (and lesbian) life. Discussed are such topics as what constitutes gay or lesbian literature; politics; diversity throughout the populace. Recognizing the contributions of gay literature to life is part of the rationale. Will you have the time to pick up each of these 50 books? Perhaps a better question is whether you'll take the time to pick them up to begin with. Canning makes a strong case for each of these books, and the well-read gay will find the time.
There you have it. Fourteen books, reflecting truth and beauty, sex and love, the primacy of gay life. For those who are still searching and trying to come to grips with being gay, who want to know more about the lives and loves of those who've gone before, either through fiction or non-fiction, adding these titles to your library will be worthwhile. If, of course, adding books to a personal library is beyond someone's reach, keep in mind the public libraries will carry most all these titles as well.
T. J. Travis is a rapidly-emerging and well-respected writer, with expertise on Gay life, traditions, and history.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=TJ_Travis
Some of the very best writing every published came from the minds and pens of gay writers. To miss out on some of this literature would be a shame. Just think - William Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin, T.E. Lawrence, Herman Melville, E.M. Forster, W. Somerset Maugham. Some of the greatest names in literature, drama, poetry are those of gay men.
A recent publication is Richard Canning's Fifty Gay and Lesbian Books Everybody Should Read (discussed in more detail later). It would seem that for all the years that the written word has been in print that 50 would be a bare minimum for someone to get through. After all, there are books of gay fiction, non-fiction, plays, poetry, fantasy, biography...and the list goes on.
Clearly, in reading some of our favorite authors, there is much to learn. Often, the protagonists are gay themselves, and we can get a particular insight into the mores of the times, the culture of the times, even the acceptance or lack thereof for those who are gay by the remainder of the population. It is worthwhile to invest in a library that will complement the copies of Unzipped, Manhunt and all the other fleshy magazines that constitute the gay genre.
Herewith, a synopsis of some of the most interesting, provocative, beneficial and smart books that have been produced by gay authors. Check them out and see if you're not enchanted and enlightened.
In the Eye of the Storm: Swept to the Center by God, written by Bishop Eugene Robinson
Eugene Robinson is Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire. Because he is gay and a bishop, of course, there is a world of controversy surrounding the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion. His book provides us with an insightful view of his life, the faith that he has professed and continues to follow and the tempest that surrounds him.
The Mayor of Castro Street, written by Randy Shilts
Harvey Milk was a hero for so many gay men, and remains so. His life was portrayed for all the world to see in the 2008 motion picture "Milk," for which Sean Penn won the Academy Award as Best Actor. The 1984 film "The Times of Harvey Milk" was awarded the Academy Award for Best Documentary. Milk was known as "The Mayor of Castro Street," and he was San Francisco's first openly gay man to win elective office, to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Here, Shilts gives us a look at Milk's personal life as well as his public life. His 1996 assassination galvanized the gay community throughout the nation. This is a powerful read, worth the trouble for anyone who's seen the movie, and a valuable re-read for those who've already taken the time to read it.
Role Models, written by John Waters
Has there been a more inventive, albeit controversial, moviemaker in our lifetimes than John Waters? His work with Divine; and his marvelous, subversive sense of humor and timing; have led us to some of the best movies of the generation. Here, he provides us with an amusing ride through the influences he has had throughout his career - people like sexy crooner Johnny Mathis, the controversial atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair, noted playwright Tennessee Williams - all to let us know where in the world John Waters is coming from. His comedic sense will delight and entrance.
Tales of the City, written by Armistead Maupin
Maupin's splendid tale of the inhabitants of the legendary 28 Barbary Lane has enchanted millions throughout the past three decades. Life is no longer as it is, and the moments and circumstances of the changing landscape are captured in his engaging and humorous prose. Of course, the inquisitive reader will want to take advantage of the entire series of stories, evocative of the changes in our lives that have taken place.
A Single Man, written by Christopher Isherwood
Despite his loneliness, George, a middle-aged, gay Englishman, must adapt to his new life as a single man, following the sudden death of his partner. The novel takes place in Southern California, where George is a professor. Alienated as he is from society, we see his joy of life through the contact he has with the outside world, in combination with his own considerations of life. We experience the very fabric of life in this humorous, ironic and somber novel. Edmund White called it "one of the first and best novels of the modern gay liberation movement."
The Berlin Stories, written by Christopher Isherwood
The Berlin Stories comprises two novellas, The Last of Mr. Norris and Goodbye to Berlin, set in Berlin in 1931, as the Hitler and the Nazi party were rising to power. In the first, Mr. Norris, a nefarious sort, is befriended by the narrator, one William Bradshaw. The second, reflected of Isherwood's own experiences in Berlin, contain reflections from various friends, acquaintances, landlords, roommates and others as they navigate through the charms and vices of Berlin. Sally Bowles, introduced as a character in the second, lived on in stage and screen presentations of "I Am A Camera" and "Cabaret."
Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked The Gay Revolution, written by David Carter
The 1969 riots against the police in Greenwich Village, precipitated by a raid on The Stonewall Inn, a gay bar, changed history. Perhaps the first time that homosexuals fought back against the political system that persecuted them, Stonewall is seen as the benchmark for the institution of civil rights for gays. Carter's research provides extraordinary detail into the riots, the aftermath and the full story of one of the most significant events in gay history.
The Meaning of Matthew, written by Judy Shepherd.
Matthew Shepard was beaten to death in 1998 simply because he was gay. His death signaled a change in the American temperament as it related to hate crimes. Since his death, we have seen a greater acceptance of gays and lesbians by society, and the expansion of various rights. Nevertheless, the struggle continues, and now Judy Shepherd, Matthew's mom, lets us into her life and the changes that resulted from his heartbreaking death. Motivated to activism, she worked vigilantly for the passage of the hate crimes bill that was signed into law late in 2009.
The Best Little Boy in the World, written by Andrew Tobias
Here is a tome that has been suggested, re-suggested and continually touted as a must-read for someone trying to come to grips with the indication that he may be gay. Tobias' own website asks the question, "What's this book about?" and then provides the answer: "Don't ask, don't tell." And, of course, The New York Times described it as "uniquely frank." When he wrote it, he had to use a pseudonym, John Reid, because the subject was taboo. That best little boy didn't masturbate, he honored his parents, he was an honors student and athlete and an extraordinary corporate executive. He was also a closet case. As the Times also said, "one reads this utterly honest account with the shock of recognition." Twenty-five years later, Tobias wrote "The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up," which ought to be on this list as well.
Maurice, written by E.M. Forster
We first meet Maurice as a 14-year-old and in public school; we follow him to Cambridge, where he excels and moves into his father's brokerage business. Growing into the business and into life as a typical Cambridge man, Maurice is everything his Dad wishes for him to be, except for one small item - he is homosexual. Forster's novel is said "to be ahead of its time" because of the gay theme and the thought that there could actually be happiness in the love between men. Sadly, not every gay couple in these times sees the happiness that they desire.
Waiting to Land, written by Martin Duberman
Duberman brings us up to date, covering the period from 1985 to 2008, as a follow-up to his two previous autobiographical books, Cures and Midlife Queer. Here he tells us of his establishment of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies (CLAGS) and his service on the original board of Queers for Economic Justice. He expresses his disdain for what he's seen in the gay movement; his thoughts that as gay becomes more mainstream in society, there is a loss of uniqueness and standing for earlier ideals becomes less evident. Maintaining a sense of primacy in the gay movement is paramount in his mind, and there's undoubtedly plenty of proverbial "food for thought" in this meaty memoir.
The Naked Civil Servant, written by Quentin Crisp
Crisp was flamboyant, having made it a priority to let the world know that his homosexuality wasn't going to prevent him from enjoying life as it was intended for him, nor that it should deter any other gay man from enjoyment. He says "as soon as I stepped out of my mother's womb, I realized that I'd made a mistake." In comedic terms, and with all frankness, Crisp tells of his encounters with his parents, soldiers and sailors, the law, making it clear that his intent was to live life unvarnished.
Mapping the Territory, written by Christopher Bram
Bram, an essayist of renown over the last quarter century, has accumulated, in this first non-fiction book, a variety of topics, including his coming-out in Virginia in the 1970s. He also discusses why he and his partner are not desirous of marriage, how it felt to see his novel Gods and Monsters be made into an Academy-Award winning movie with the great gay actor Ian McKellan. Bram also tells us of some of the reading he did when he was coming to grips with himself as a gay man. He provides us with his insight on Greenwich Village, and shares his ideas on life with wit, elan and grace.
Fifty Gay and Lesbian Books Everybody Should Read, written by Richard Canning
Undoubtedly, many readers have picked up some of the texts that are contained in this collection of essays from a wide variety of critics, authors and others. It is illuminating to recognize the need to sample the thoughts of so many who've opined on gay (and lesbian) life. Discussed are such topics as what constitutes gay or lesbian literature; politics; diversity throughout the populace. Recognizing the contributions of gay literature to life is part of the rationale. Will you have the time to pick up each of these 50 books? Perhaps a better question is whether you'll take the time to pick them up to begin with. Canning makes a strong case for each of these books, and the well-read gay will find the time.
There you have it. Fourteen books, reflecting truth and beauty, sex and love, the primacy of gay life. For those who are still searching and trying to come to grips with being gay, who want to know more about the lives and loves of those who've gone before, either through fiction or non-fiction, adding these titles to your library will be worthwhile. If, of course, adding books to a personal library is beyond someone's reach, keep in mind the public libraries will carry most all these titles as well.
T. J. Travis is a rapidly-emerging and well-respected writer, with expertise on Gay life, traditions, and history.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=TJ_Travis
Where is Gay Adoption Legal?
In most places, gay adoption is legal but before going in for it, you should find out the adoption policies of your state. If the adoption is not legal, you can alternately apply for guardianship. But this will not give you the same rights as adoption does.
States like Alaska, Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Kansas, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Montana, Virginia, Washington, Mississippi and Michigan allow single GLBT adoption.
Second parent adoption is allowed in some areas in Alaska, Alabama, Delaware, Indiana, Washington, Texas, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Oregon and Hawaii.
Joint gay adoption has the thumbs up in Connecticut, Illinois, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon and Vermont.
When states do not allow joint adoption for gay couples, you can go in for second parent adoption. Here the child belongs to one gay parent and the other applies for adoption. The other legal parent will not lose the rights of parenthood also.
Some states like Arkansas and Florida prohibit one or all ways of adoption for gay singles and gay couples. Some states might allow single GLBT adoption, but might frown upon joint gay adoption. Check with the agencies also about the rules and regulations.
If things do not go your way, you can try for foster care. However, the state will be the legal guardian of the child. Nevertheless, you can still love and bring up the child with the best care possible.
Or else, you can move to a state that favors gay adoption. It might be the best move of all.
About Author:
Pauline Go is an online leading expert in the child care industry. She also offers top quality articles like :
Child Development Checklist, Child Psychology Studies
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Go
States like Alaska, Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Kansas, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Montana, Virginia, Washington, Mississippi and Michigan allow single GLBT adoption.
Second parent adoption is allowed in some areas in Alaska, Alabama, Delaware, Indiana, Washington, Texas, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Oregon and Hawaii.
Joint gay adoption has the thumbs up in Connecticut, Illinois, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon and Vermont.
When states do not allow joint adoption for gay couples, you can go in for second parent adoption. Here the child belongs to one gay parent and the other applies for adoption. The other legal parent will not lose the rights of parenthood also.
Some states like Arkansas and Florida prohibit one or all ways of adoption for gay singles and gay couples. Some states might allow single GLBT adoption, but might frown upon joint gay adoption. Check with the agencies also about the rules and regulations.
If things do not go your way, you can try for foster care. However, the state will be the legal guardian of the child. Nevertheless, you can still love and bring up the child with the best care possible.
Or else, you can move to a state that favors gay adoption. It might be the best move of all.
About Author:
Pauline Go is an online leading expert in the child care industry. She also offers top quality articles like :
Child Development Checklist, Child Psychology Studies
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Go
Friday, December 2, 2011
Working With Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Clients
Last Tuesday (12th October 2010) was "National Coming out Day" in the UK. To quote Wikipedia, this is "an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues". It seems appropriate then, for this week's blog post to be about working with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
I'll start off with stating that I don't give two hoots whether you are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgender. We are all OK and there are no goods or bads, rights or wrongs, there's just us.
I believe that human sexuality is a continuum, it's a grey scale and we are all somewhere on it. This seems to be backed up by research by Kinsey (1953) and Klein (1985). Klein went further and suggested that there is fluidity to our sexuality throughout time. There is no doubt in my mind that our sexuality plays an important part of defining who we are and this is an issue that we all must examine regardless of our sexual orientation.
As part of my therapeutic practice, I regularly work with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients and same-sex couples. My pointer is towards the heterosexual side of that grey scale. I think it's important to explore how I, a straight man, can work effectively with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients. If I have never experienced the many issues that lesbian, gay and bisexual people face growing up or in their everyday lives as a result of the homophobia and heterosexism inherent in our society, then how could I help?
For me it's about becoming aware of the issues that only my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients face. It's also being honest with my clients and having a dialogue about how sometimes I may miss the significance of something in their life because I have had no experience of it myself. I always endevour to create a relationship whereby I can learn from my clients just as they learn from me. I work hard to keep up to date with current literature on LGBT issues and I talk to my lesbian and gay friends about their life experiences (though, if I'm honest, we actually spend more time talking about who put in the best performance on X-factor!).
Issues that need accounting for with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
Societal oppression - It wasn't too many years ago that homosexuality was illegal in this country. In the USA, LGBT couples still have few rights in some states.
Homophobia - Within society this can take many forms from violence and victimization to subtle discrimination in the workplace. Some LGBT people lose contact with family and friends as a result of coming out. Others dare not come out for fear of losing those around them that they love or of persecution from others who would not accept their sexuality.
Heterosexism - the belief that opposite sex relationships are superior to same sex relationships. This sometimes has a major impact on same sex couples both from the perception of the validity of their relationship from society, but also the acknowledgment of their relationship from their family and friends.
Internalised Homophobia - The feelings that some LGBT individuals have that they are "defective" which can result in self-hatred, guilt and lack of belief that they could ever have a successful same sex relationship. We can work through these issues in therapy and it can sometimes be a slow and painful process that leads to self-acceptance and pride in who they are.
Issues only same-sex couples have to deal with:
Homophobia and heterosexism in the community - this can create fear about committing to a same sex long term relationship for some lesbian and gay people.
Lack of "role models" for how to have a same sex relationship - this can lead to confusion over boundaries, expectations and obligations within the relationship.
Generally lower levels of family support - When things get tough some LGBT couples find it difficult to get help, advice and support from their family.
The same-sex nature of the relationship increases the chances of certain problems if both partners conform to traditional gender roles - Lesbian couples can have problems with emotional fusion whilst gay men may find they are emotionally disengaged from each other or in competition.
Bisexual clients may have to deal with another set of issues all together, including the confusing state of being "too queer" for heterosexual society and "not queer enough" for the homosexual one.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that these issues would be the focus of the work I do with a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender client. We all bring our own stuff to therapy regardless of our sexuality. What I'm saying is that these issues need to be kept in mind and tackled when they come up. I don't need to be gay to do that, just as I don't need to be black in order to empathise with the pain of being racially discriminated against.
Ultimately for me, I like working with people. I get a buzz out of helping people change, grow and realise their potential. Whether you are straight or gay, black, blue or green, I'm there for you if you need the support.
References
Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & martin, C.E (1953). Sexual behaviour in the human male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Company.
Klein, F., Sepekoff, B, & Wolf, T.J (1985). Sexual orientation: A multi-variable dynamic process. Journal of Homosexuality, 11 (1/2), 35-50.
If you need more help, advice or support on lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender issues I can recommend the Lesbian and Gay Foundation, which is based in Manchester.
Ian Tomlinson runs Manchester Psychotherapy and provides therapy and counselling in Manchester.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Tomlinson
I'll start off with stating that I don't give two hoots whether you are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgender. We are all OK and there are no goods or bads, rights or wrongs, there's just us.
I believe that human sexuality is a continuum, it's a grey scale and we are all somewhere on it. This seems to be backed up by research by Kinsey (1953) and Klein (1985). Klein went further and suggested that there is fluidity to our sexuality throughout time. There is no doubt in my mind that our sexuality plays an important part of defining who we are and this is an issue that we all must examine regardless of our sexual orientation.
As part of my therapeutic practice, I regularly work with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients and same-sex couples. My pointer is towards the heterosexual side of that grey scale. I think it's important to explore how I, a straight man, can work effectively with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients. If I have never experienced the many issues that lesbian, gay and bisexual people face growing up or in their everyday lives as a result of the homophobia and heterosexism inherent in our society, then how could I help?
For me it's about becoming aware of the issues that only my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients face. It's also being honest with my clients and having a dialogue about how sometimes I may miss the significance of something in their life because I have had no experience of it myself. I always endevour to create a relationship whereby I can learn from my clients just as they learn from me. I work hard to keep up to date with current literature on LGBT issues and I talk to my lesbian and gay friends about their life experiences (though, if I'm honest, we actually spend more time talking about who put in the best performance on X-factor!).
Issues that need accounting for with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
Societal oppression - It wasn't too many years ago that homosexuality was illegal in this country. In the USA, LGBT couples still have few rights in some states.
Homophobia - Within society this can take many forms from violence and victimization to subtle discrimination in the workplace. Some LGBT people lose contact with family and friends as a result of coming out. Others dare not come out for fear of losing those around them that they love or of persecution from others who would not accept their sexuality.
Heterosexism - the belief that opposite sex relationships are superior to same sex relationships. This sometimes has a major impact on same sex couples both from the perception of the validity of their relationship from society, but also the acknowledgment of their relationship from their family and friends.
Internalised Homophobia - The feelings that some LGBT individuals have that they are "defective" which can result in self-hatred, guilt and lack of belief that they could ever have a successful same sex relationship. We can work through these issues in therapy and it can sometimes be a slow and painful process that leads to self-acceptance and pride in who they are.
Issues only same-sex couples have to deal with:
Homophobia and heterosexism in the community - this can create fear about committing to a same sex long term relationship for some lesbian and gay people.
Lack of "role models" for how to have a same sex relationship - this can lead to confusion over boundaries, expectations and obligations within the relationship.
Generally lower levels of family support - When things get tough some LGBT couples find it difficult to get help, advice and support from their family.
The same-sex nature of the relationship increases the chances of certain problems if both partners conform to traditional gender roles - Lesbian couples can have problems with emotional fusion whilst gay men may find they are emotionally disengaged from each other or in competition.
Bisexual clients may have to deal with another set of issues all together, including the confusing state of being "too queer" for heterosexual society and "not queer enough" for the homosexual one.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that these issues would be the focus of the work I do with a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender client. We all bring our own stuff to therapy regardless of our sexuality. What I'm saying is that these issues need to be kept in mind and tackled when they come up. I don't need to be gay to do that, just as I don't need to be black in order to empathise with the pain of being racially discriminated against.
Ultimately for me, I like working with people. I get a buzz out of helping people change, grow and realise their potential. Whether you are straight or gay, black, blue or green, I'm there for you if you need the support.
References
Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & martin, C.E (1953). Sexual behaviour in the human male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Company.
Klein, F., Sepekoff, B, & Wolf, T.J (1985). Sexual orientation: A multi-variable dynamic process. Journal of Homosexuality, 11 (1/2), 35-50.
If you need more help, advice or support on lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender issues I can recommend the Lesbian and Gay Foundation, which is based in Manchester.
Ian Tomlinson runs Manchester Psychotherapy and provides therapy and counselling in Manchester.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Tomlinson
Top 10 Secrets of Successful Gay Daters
Introduction
Dating can be like a roller coaster ride sometimes with its fun highs and frustrating lows. Ever wonder why some guys have more luck with the dating game than others? Ever contemplate what it takes to become more successful with men? Well, that's a tricky business and there's no scientific formula that will yield those positive results. I believe dating is partly luck and LOTS of preparation.
This article will list ten characteristics common to the profile of a successful gay dater. The list goes on beyond this as well, but these qualities can provide a starting point for you to assess your possible strengths and weaknesses as a single gay man on the prowl for your Mr. Right and to develop goals for self-improvement that will maximize your efforts out on the dating scene.
Profile Of A Successful Gay Dater
10. He lives a life that he loves with a clear vision of his future and is armed with self-knowledge and awareness.
It's critical that you avoid defining your whole life around dating and finding a boyfriend. This is just one aspect of your life and you don't want to neglect and avoid the other parts of your identity. Know who you are, what you want, and where you're going in your life. Develop a crisp, clear vision of how you want to be and the type of life you'd like to lead and succinctly define your personal values, passions, and life purpose and live according to them. Look and feel your best! And remember, "The Law of Attraction" states that like attracts like; what you put out there and show the world has the tendency to attract the same back to you---and that goes for dating too!
9. He knows his personal requirements and refuses to tolerate anything less.
The best defense that you can have in the midst of all those men to choose from is to know what your non-negotiable needs are; things you absolutely must have or absolutely cannot have in a relationship for you to be with that particular guy. This will help you weed through the potentials and the Mr. Wrongs. And don't sway from your requirements, no matter how hot he is! You'll be saving yourself a lot of grief in the long run.
8. He has a solid knowledge of what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Be aware of the ingredients of a healthy partnership. This can help you detect any red flags in your dating relationship that might be "deal-breakers" or areas that the two of you could work on together. Such qualities include each person having a strong sense of self with solid boundaries, open communication, flexibility, commitment, ability to have fun, capable of non-defensive conflict negotiation, having emotional connection and intimacy, affection, sexual compatibility, etc.
7. He has a strong support system, access to resources, and is comfortable being alone.
It's important when your single to have a good friendship network going (they can be great match-makers sometimes) and have a circle of people in your life who support you and care about you. Additionally, become knowledgeable about the resources that exist in your community for LGBT individuals as additional components you can add to your network. And learn creative ways for coping with loneliness by utilizing this alone time for self-reflection, relaxation, and movement toward your personal goals and vision.
6. He has overcome a lot of the male socialization barriers that can interfere with relationship quality of life.
"Men are tough. Men don't cry. Men don't show emotions."You know, all those mumbo jumbo messages all of us men, gay and straight, had to internalize growing up. These scripts that are supposed to define manhood limit our ability to live freely. As a result, many gay relationships tend to be highlighted by competition, status, power/control struggles, and lack of effective communication skills and expression of feelings. Put two men together in a dating situation with the same socialization scripts, and these are relationship killers! Define for yourself what being a man means, develop comfort with your masculinity and gender, and don't be held back by these prejudicial sanctions.
5. He has addressed any issues pertaining to internalized homophobia, feels a sense of acceptance and pride with being gay, and has overcome a lot of the gay stereotypes and myths that abound about gay men and dating.
Coming out isn't for everyone, but the more accepting you are about your sexual identity, the greater quality of life you can experience. You don't have to live a double life any more, you no longer have to lie or hide behind secrets, you can live with less fear and stress, and your self-esteem tends to be higher in most cases. It's not an easy feat, however--there's years worth of shame to work through, but for most people the journey is beneficial as they can then live more authentically and truly be themselves. Dating and relationships can be made difficult without a resolution to this, particularly if both men are in different places of the coming-out continuum. Additionally, it's important to counter any myths or stereotypes about homosexuality because these can be limiting as well. "All the good ones are taken." "Gay relationships don't work." "All gay men want is sex." "I have to be a stud to land a man." "Guys will come to me." If you believe any of these statements and the many others that exist, recognize these as misinformation that can be confusing and distort reality and work hard at challenging and defeating such negative self-talk so that they don't get in the way of your goals.
4. He knows what dating means and how to do it instead of just having sex.
For many gay men, having sex and/or jumping into a relationship too early is a common phenomenon. Because of our homophobic society, we were never taught how to date, so gays don't typically have pacing rituals or milestones like our straight counterparts do for dating. This, coupled with relief after years of isolation and having a strong need to feel loved/wanted/connected, fuels us to rush intimacy too quickly and establish premature connections without knowing more about the other guy. It's important to build a foundation first as this helps us make good choices. Learn how to pace and slow things down by learning how to add courtship, flirting, and romance to the mix.
3. He is emotionally and physically available and ready for love.
Have the time and space to invite a person into your world. It will be difficult to establish a connection with someone if your time schedule is too booked up. Also be ready emotionally by ensuring you've resolved any baggage from your past or addressing any current personal issues that may distract you and sabotage your efforts at love. And most importantly, be yourself! Don't be someone that you think he wants you to be. Don't mold yourself around someone just to be in a relationship. You'll end up resenting him and yourself for your dishonesty. Remember to live by your personal requirements and have your own individual identity.
2. He has a well-rounded repertoire of dating skills and knows how to use them.
Dating skills include such things as knowing where to meet men (pick venues aligned with your vision!), being assertive, having good communication skills, being able to initiate and maintain conversations, differentiating between guys who are cruising vs. serious dating candidates, knowing how to flirt, etc. The more developed you are in these types of skills, the more savvy and confident you will feel when in social situations and you'll be more magnetic!
1. He is a go-getter and takes charge of his life. He makes things happen!
Nothing will happen in your life unless you take the proactive steps to make changes. This is not an easy task, especially if you're shy or hesitant because of past efforts that didn't work out, but you have to be the chooser and take risks. In most cases, things will not fall in your lap. You will need to do the work involved in making your vision become a reality. Whether it be combating procrastination or dealing with fears of rejection, conquer your anxieties directly. And do it NOW! The more you run or avoid anxiety, the stronger it gets. And don't put your life on hold either. One man once told me, "I'll start dating after I lose weight." No! Live your life to the max now while you're working on such goals. There's no greater loss than postponing living your life.
Conclusion
So there you have it! Ten areas where you can assess yourself on the successful dater scale. Dating can be fun AND challenging, so the more prepared you are for inviting love into your life, the greater the chances of victory. Identify the strengths and weaknesses you may have from this profile and make a commitment to yourself to develop goals for improving up your weak spots and follow through with them. While it's not foolproof, you will greatly improve your chances in the dating pool and you'll also be strengthening your personhood in the process, adding more value and richness to your life. Your Mr. Right is out there. Now go get him!
©2006 Brian L. Rzepczynski
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com
Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!
Brian Rzepczynski holds a master's degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach: Man 4 Man Coaching Services (http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com), in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a free monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the 2005 self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Rzepczynski
Dating can be like a roller coaster ride sometimes with its fun highs and frustrating lows. Ever wonder why some guys have more luck with the dating game than others? Ever contemplate what it takes to become more successful with men? Well, that's a tricky business and there's no scientific formula that will yield those positive results. I believe dating is partly luck and LOTS of preparation.
This article will list ten characteristics common to the profile of a successful gay dater. The list goes on beyond this as well, but these qualities can provide a starting point for you to assess your possible strengths and weaknesses as a single gay man on the prowl for your Mr. Right and to develop goals for self-improvement that will maximize your efforts out on the dating scene.
Profile Of A Successful Gay Dater
10. He lives a life that he loves with a clear vision of his future and is armed with self-knowledge and awareness.
It's critical that you avoid defining your whole life around dating and finding a boyfriend. This is just one aspect of your life and you don't want to neglect and avoid the other parts of your identity. Know who you are, what you want, and where you're going in your life. Develop a crisp, clear vision of how you want to be and the type of life you'd like to lead and succinctly define your personal values, passions, and life purpose and live according to them. Look and feel your best! And remember, "The Law of Attraction" states that like attracts like; what you put out there and show the world has the tendency to attract the same back to you---and that goes for dating too!
9. He knows his personal requirements and refuses to tolerate anything less.
The best defense that you can have in the midst of all those men to choose from is to know what your non-negotiable needs are; things you absolutely must have or absolutely cannot have in a relationship for you to be with that particular guy. This will help you weed through the potentials and the Mr. Wrongs. And don't sway from your requirements, no matter how hot he is! You'll be saving yourself a lot of grief in the long run.
8. He has a solid knowledge of what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Be aware of the ingredients of a healthy partnership. This can help you detect any red flags in your dating relationship that might be "deal-breakers" or areas that the two of you could work on together. Such qualities include each person having a strong sense of self with solid boundaries, open communication, flexibility, commitment, ability to have fun, capable of non-defensive conflict negotiation, having emotional connection and intimacy, affection, sexual compatibility, etc.
7. He has a strong support system, access to resources, and is comfortable being alone.
It's important when your single to have a good friendship network going (they can be great match-makers sometimes) and have a circle of people in your life who support you and care about you. Additionally, become knowledgeable about the resources that exist in your community for LGBT individuals as additional components you can add to your network. And learn creative ways for coping with loneliness by utilizing this alone time for self-reflection, relaxation, and movement toward your personal goals and vision.
6. He has overcome a lot of the male socialization barriers that can interfere with relationship quality of life.
"Men are tough. Men don't cry. Men don't show emotions."You know, all those mumbo jumbo messages all of us men, gay and straight, had to internalize growing up. These scripts that are supposed to define manhood limit our ability to live freely. As a result, many gay relationships tend to be highlighted by competition, status, power/control struggles, and lack of effective communication skills and expression of feelings. Put two men together in a dating situation with the same socialization scripts, and these are relationship killers! Define for yourself what being a man means, develop comfort with your masculinity and gender, and don't be held back by these prejudicial sanctions.
5. He has addressed any issues pertaining to internalized homophobia, feels a sense of acceptance and pride with being gay, and has overcome a lot of the gay stereotypes and myths that abound about gay men and dating.
Coming out isn't for everyone, but the more accepting you are about your sexual identity, the greater quality of life you can experience. You don't have to live a double life any more, you no longer have to lie or hide behind secrets, you can live with less fear and stress, and your self-esteem tends to be higher in most cases. It's not an easy feat, however--there's years worth of shame to work through, but for most people the journey is beneficial as they can then live more authentically and truly be themselves. Dating and relationships can be made difficult without a resolution to this, particularly if both men are in different places of the coming-out continuum. Additionally, it's important to counter any myths or stereotypes about homosexuality because these can be limiting as well. "All the good ones are taken." "Gay relationships don't work." "All gay men want is sex." "I have to be a stud to land a man." "Guys will come to me." If you believe any of these statements and the many others that exist, recognize these as misinformation that can be confusing and distort reality and work hard at challenging and defeating such negative self-talk so that they don't get in the way of your goals.
4. He knows what dating means and how to do it instead of just having sex.
For many gay men, having sex and/or jumping into a relationship too early is a common phenomenon. Because of our homophobic society, we were never taught how to date, so gays don't typically have pacing rituals or milestones like our straight counterparts do for dating. This, coupled with relief after years of isolation and having a strong need to feel loved/wanted/connected, fuels us to rush intimacy too quickly and establish premature connections without knowing more about the other guy. It's important to build a foundation first as this helps us make good choices. Learn how to pace and slow things down by learning how to add courtship, flirting, and romance to the mix.
3. He is emotionally and physically available and ready for love.
Have the time and space to invite a person into your world. It will be difficult to establish a connection with someone if your time schedule is too booked up. Also be ready emotionally by ensuring you've resolved any baggage from your past or addressing any current personal issues that may distract you and sabotage your efforts at love. And most importantly, be yourself! Don't be someone that you think he wants you to be. Don't mold yourself around someone just to be in a relationship. You'll end up resenting him and yourself for your dishonesty. Remember to live by your personal requirements and have your own individual identity.
2. He has a well-rounded repertoire of dating skills and knows how to use them.
Dating skills include such things as knowing where to meet men (pick venues aligned with your vision!), being assertive, having good communication skills, being able to initiate and maintain conversations, differentiating between guys who are cruising vs. serious dating candidates, knowing how to flirt, etc. The more developed you are in these types of skills, the more savvy and confident you will feel when in social situations and you'll be more magnetic!
1. He is a go-getter and takes charge of his life. He makes things happen!
Nothing will happen in your life unless you take the proactive steps to make changes. This is not an easy task, especially if you're shy or hesitant because of past efforts that didn't work out, but you have to be the chooser and take risks. In most cases, things will not fall in your lap. You will need to do the work involved in making your vision become a reality. Whether it be combating procrastination or dealing with fears of rejection, conquer your anxieties directly. And do it NOW! The more you run or avoid anxiety, the stronger it gets. And don't put your life on hold either. One man once told me, "I'll start dating after I lose weight." No! Live your life to the max now while you're working on such goals. There's no greater loss than postponing living your life.
Conclusion
So there you have it! Ten areas where you can assess yourself on the successful dater scale. Dating can be fun AND challenging, so the more prepared you are for inviting love into your life, the greater the chances of victory. Identify the strengths and weaknesses you may have from this profile and make a commitment to yourself to develop goals for improving up your weak spots and follow through with them. While it's not foolproof, you will greatly improve your chances in the dating pool and you'll also be strengthening your personhood in the process, adding more value and richness to your life. Your Mr. Right is out there. Now go get him!
©2006 Brian L. Rzepczynski
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com
Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!
Brian Rzepczynski holds a master's degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach: Man 4 Man Coaching Services (http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com), in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a free monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the 2005 self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Rzepczynski
Gay Rights = Human Rights
Being gay in Uganda is an issue, an issue that can get you killed. Homosexual acts are illegal in Uganda with a possible 14 year punishment in prison. The Ugandan government has tirelessly tried to further criminalize homosexuality by adding anti-gay laws that call for the death penalty but many activists have vigorously fought for LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) rights. Their work has not gone unnoticed. The UK Prime Minister is now pleading equal rights to be respected by all Commonwealth countries, including Uganda if they want to continue receiving aid from the UK.
Ugandan Gay Activist, David Kato was an Advocacy Officer at Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) founded in 2004. Kato was beaten to death in January 2011 when he was campaigning for homosexual rights. The devastating news transpired after a national newspaper, "Rolling Stone" had published 100 pictures of "Uganda's top homos leak" with a cruel headline stating "hang them." The newspaper framed the story with a safety precaution for parents to keep their children away from the recruitment of the homosexuals.
On May 13, 2011 the anti-gay bill was shelved away as the Ugandan government failed to debate the new proposed law.
Today, UK Prime Minister, David Cameron, is taking a further step in respecting LGBT rights by urging countries receiving aid from the UK to comply with human rights. The strong urge directed at Uganda will hopefully spark enough international attention to eventually challenge the Ugandan beliefs and respect their citizen's rights. The UK threat is positively reinforcing Uganda to educate itself on LGBT rights. Its intolerance is simply out dated and other countries should join the journey towards a just world where the rights of all are respected.
The bottom line here is that gay rights equal human rights and with reform, UK aid will resume and with more managed aid we can increase our education systems which in turn will eventually eliminate such extreme poverty. Why do we stress over a person's sexuality when we have other desperate issues seeking our attention?
This type of action makes me feel like we are headed towards a better world. It is for people like David Cameron that we challenge our beliefs and values to educate ourselves better. It is then our responsibility to educate others and broaden their horizons to the reality of humanity. Surely people do not change overnight, however this is a gradual change that will align our international laws for human rights with our real world. Only if we could respect that some are born this way and some are born that way. Regardless of which way, we all deserve equal rights.
Ugandan officials are unhappy by this bully threat and claim that their homophobic views are based on cultural beliefs that should be respected.
What are your thoughts on this issue? How do we establish human rights without clashing with cultural values?
Sonja Be is an International Relations Journalist with a conviction to be the voice for the voiceless. Her passion for justice shines through her articles. Read more at http://www.sonjabe.com
Twitter: Sonja_be
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sonja_Be
Ugandan Gay Activist, David Kato was an Advocacy Officer at Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) founded in 2004. Kato was beaten to death in January 2011 when he was campaigning for homosexual rights. The devastating news transpired after a national newspaper, "Rolling Stone" had published 100 pictures of "Uganda's top homos leak" with a cruel headline stating "hang them." The newspaper framed the story with a safety precaution for parents to keep their children away from the recruitment of the homosexuals.
On May 13, 2011 the anti-gay bill was shelved away as the Ugandan government failed to debate the new proposed law.
Today, UK Prime Minister, David Cameron, is taking a further step in respecting LGBT rights by urging countries receiving aid from the UK to comply with human rights. The strong urge directed at Uganda will hopefully spark enough international attention to eventually challenge the Ugandan beliefs and respect their citizen's rights. The UK threat is positively reinforcing Uganda to educate itself on LGBT rights. Its intolerance is simply out dated and other countries should join the journey towards a just world where the rights of all are respected.
The bottom line here is that gay rights equal human rights and with reform, UK aid will resume and with more managed aid we can increase our education systems which in turn will eventually eliminate such extreme poverty. Why do we stress over a person's sexuality when we have other desperate issues seeking our attention?
This type of action makes me feel like we are headed towards a better world. It is for people like David Cameron that we challenge our beliefs and values to educate ourselves better. It is then our responsibility to educate others and broaden their horizons to the reality of humanity. Surely people do not change overnight, however this is a gradual change that will align our international laws for human rights with our real world. Only if we could respect that some are born this way and some are born that way. Regardless of which way, we all deserve equal rights.
Ugandan officials are unhappy by this bully threat and claim that their homophobic views are based on cultural beliefs that should be respected.
What are your thoughts on this issue? How do we establish human rights without clashing with cultural values?
Sonja Be is an International Relations Journalist with a conviction to be the voice for the voiceless. Her passion for justice shines through her articles. Read more at http://www.sonjabe.com
Twitter: Sonja_be
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sonja_Be
Gay Chat - A Way to Communicate to Your Male Friends
The term gay or you may say homosexual, means recognizing same sex relationships, primarily to refer to feelings of being "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy". It had also come to acquire some connotations of "immorality" as early as 1637. Nowadays same sex marriage between males (also called gay marriage) is become legally or socially recognized.
Gay chat is the way to meet and interact with the people of same sex (male) all around the world. It is the place where you may chat with the people of your own interest having a sexual attraction of people of the same sex. You can chat with hundreds of gay callers online by simply logging on into the chat rooms where many of them will be local to you. This facility provides chat as well as dating services across the whole world. It is a kind of network where you may find lots of people of your own interest and much more stuff related to your keen interest.
It is a community of mutual respect where there is a private gay chat room where you can get private messages and keeping your account secret and finding perfect date, which is a very daunting task, especially when you are stepping out for the first time.
Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them by simply making the benefit of having chat with the persons of your interest. Gay chat rooms set a standard that will keep everyone feeling safe and comfortable. It is a very beneficial tool for the persons who are looking for a perfect match for them. One can start private chats or just be a part of the big room where you may meet various kinds of people and select the best one of your own interest by chatting with them.
All and all Gay Chat is a place where you find a large number of gays from all the locations around the world. So feel free to invite anyone to chat using a very strong communication known as "Gay Chat".
Author is an online marketer in the Ireland based company.He loves to write on different topics. Now he is sharing information on Gay Chat and Gay Ireland. Please visit gaydatescene.com for more information about this topic.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Meaney
Gay chat is the way to meet and interact with the people of same sex (male) all around the world. It is the place where you may chat with the people of your own interest having a sexual attraction of people of the same sex. You can chat with hundreds of gay callers online by simply logging on into the chat rooms where many of them will be local to you. This facility provides chat as well as dating services across the whole world. It is a kind of network where you may find lots of people of your own interest and much more stuff related to your keen interest.
It is a community of mutual respect where there is a private gay chat room where you can get private messages and keeping your account secret and finding perfect date, which is a very daunting task, especially when you are stepping out for the first time.
Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them by simply making the benefit of having chat with the persons of your interest. Gay chat rooms set a standard that will keep everyone feeling safe and comfortable. It is a very beneficial tool for the persons who are looking for a perfect match for them. One can start private chats or just be a part of the big room where you may meet various kinds of people and select the best one of your own interest by chatting with them.
All and all Gay Chat is a place where you find a large number of gays from all the locations around the world. So feel free to invite anyone to chat using a very strong communication known as "Gay Chat".
Author is an online marketer in the Ireland based company.He loves to write on different topics. Now he is sharing information on Gay Chat and Gay Ireland. Please visit gaydatescene.com for more information about this topic.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Meaney
Facts and Myths About Gay and Lesbian Parenting
Change often causes a division between those that are in support of the change, and those that aren't. Gay and lesbian parenting is one such change. Supportive people tend to reflect on the positive benefits of having gay or lesbian parents while those who are not supportive may claim unreal negatives linked to having two moms or two dads. Research studies have been completed on gay and lesbian parenting with some interesting, myth-busting results.
Myth: Parenting Choices are Influenced by Sexual Orientation
Fact: According to a 1999 report published by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), gay and lesbian parents did not parent based upon their sexual orientation. The ACLU states that "good parenting" involves supplying a nurturing home with love from both parents and gay/lesbian parents can effectively offer that to their children.
Myth: Children of Alternative Parents Grow Up Unhappy
Fact: The same 1999 report published by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), revealed children of gay and lesbian parents were just as happy as children raised by heterosexual parents. This could be true and untrue at the same time. In 2004, Barbara Walters interviewed children of gay and lesbian couples to find that some had problems during middle school years when peer pressure and teasing was heaviest. Some skeptics may state that all children have trouble during middle school years with these same issues whether parents are gay or not.
Myth: Children of Alternative Couples are Less Intelligent
Fact: There are no known studies that support the idea that children of gay and lesbian couples are less intelligent. Children are also not proven to suffer additional mental problems, behavioral problems, drug addiction or eating disorders.
Myth: Alternative Parents Cannot Provide Good Foster and Adoption Homes
Fact: Each year, more and more children enter the foster system with fewer couples willing to adopt. With research supporting the alternative parental unit, there is no reason to stop them from opening a well-rounded home to a child that would otherwise by stuck in the system. There are research studies, however, that link a lack of a supportive home unit to problems throughout childhood and adulthood.
As long as there are alternative lifestyles there will be myths and facts to set straight. Not every gay and lesbian couple is perfect for parenthood - but not every heterosexual couple is either. There are pros and cons of every parent until no matter the sexual orientation.
Information on Fertility and Pregnancy you can Trust.
Amos Grunebaum M.D. is a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist in one of the top 10 hospitals in the United States. In addition to providing pregnant women researched information on pregnancy at BabyMed.com, Amos specializes in gay parenting.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Amos_Grunebaum_M.D.
Myth: Parenting Choices are Influenced by Sexual Orientation
Fact: According to a 1999 report published by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), gay and lesbian parents did not parent based upon their sexual orientation. The ACLU states that "good parenting" involves supplying a nurturing home with love from both parents and gay/lesbian parents can effectively offer that to their children.
Myth: Children of Alternative Parents Grow Up Unhappy
Fact: The same 1999 report published by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), revealed children of gay and lesbian parents were just as happy as children raised by heterosexual parents. This could be true and untrue at the same time. In 2004, Barbara Walters interviewed children of gay and lesbian couples to find that some had problems during middle school years when peer pressure and teasing was heaviest. Some skeptics may state that all children have trouble during middle school years with these same issues whether parents are gay or not.
Myth: Children of Alternative Couples are Less Intelligent
Fact: There are no known studies that support the idea that children of gay and lesbian couples are less intelligent. Children are also not proven to suffer additional mental problems, behavioral problems, drug addiction or eating disorders.
Myth: Alternative Parents Cannot Provide Good Foster and Adoption Homes
Fact: Each year, more and more children enter the foster system with fewer couples willing to adopt. With research supporting the alternative parental unit, there is no reason to stop them from opening a well-rounded home to a child that would otherwise by stuck in the system. There are research studies, however, that link a lack of a supportive home unit to problems throughout childhood and adulthood.
As long as there are alternative lifestyles there will be myths and facts to set straight. Not every gay and lesbian couple is perfect for parenthood - but not every heterosexual couple is either. There are pros and cons of every parent until no matter the sexual orientation.
Information on Fertility and Pregnancy you can Trust.
Amos Grunebaum M.D. is a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist in one of the top 10 hospitals in the United States. In addition to providing pregnant women researched information on pregnancy at BabyMed.com, Amos specializes in gay parenting.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Amos_Grunebaum_M.D.
Advantages Of Using A Good Gay Online Dating Site To Meet Singles
People have a right to find whom to share their life with. Gay online dating allows people to find a chance to find other gay singles that they can simply have a few dates with or to have a long-term relationship with. But there is one distinct advantage of gay online dating. It allows you to find good people who share your interests.
Many people go on dating sites in order to find people with whom they have common interests as well as personality traits. Gay dating is no different. Compatibility is a key component of healthy and happy relationship, especially if the couple expects to be together in the long-term.
A good gay online dating site will have a huge number of singles who are actively looking for a relationship. This is great way to get started, as dating has always been a numbers game. This is why people go to bars and clubs hoping to "get lucky".
Another advantage of using a gay dating site is that it will show you the town where people live in. You may want to find someone locally who you can go on a date with and not have to travel a long way. If you find a partner who lives in the same area, you are not going to have to move far away from your family in order to find someone to spend your time with. People have a right to find someone who they can date anywhere in the world however. You simply have to find someone who makes you laugh, makes you smile or makes you feel secure.
A good gay online dating site can help you link interests with another person. If you want to find a date who loves to play tennis then you can use that first date to play tennis, if you both love Italian food, this is another bonus and another thing that you can mention in your dating profile. People who are honest about their likes and dislikes are more likely to find success on a dating website. It is important to remember that you are talking about your own life. You should not have to spend your life going on dates that you may have regrets about.
People want to find a website that has a good IT staff and customer service. If there are aspects to the dating profiles that are lacking the staff should listen to their customers.
You may want to find a gay dating website that allows you to go through live chats that people can use in order to have a more intimate and personalized conversation with one another. You can learn more about each other through these chats. A good gay dating service is about much more than a basic profile.
Want to meet hot gay singles? Check out top rated gay dating sites now. David Kamau writes dating articles and dating site reviews at his site and blog.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_N_Kamau
Many people go on dating sites in order to find people with whom they have common interests as well as personality traits. Gay dating is no different. Compatibility is a key component of healthy and happy relationship, especially if the couple expects to be together in the long-term.
A good gay online dating site will have a huge number of singles who are actively looking for a relationship. This is great way to get started, as dating has always been a numbers game. This is why people go to bars and clubs hoping to "get lucky".
Another advantage of using a gay dating site is that it will show you the town where people live in. You may want to find someone locally who you can go on a date with and not have to travel a long way. If you find a partner who lives in the same area, you are not going to have to move far away from your family in order to find someone to spend your time with. People have a right to find someone who they can date anywhere in the world however. You simply have to find someone who makes you laugh, makes you smile or makes you feel secure.
A good gay online dating site can help you link interests with another person. If you want to find a date who loves to play tennis then you can use that first date to play tennis, if you both love Italian food, this is another bonus and another thing that you can mention in your dating profile. People who are honest about their likes and dislikes are more likely to find success on a dating website. It is important to remember that you are talking about your own life. You should not have to spend your life going on dates that you may have regrets about.
People want to find a website that has a good IT staff and customer service. If there are aspects to the dating profiles that are lacking the staff should listen to their customers.
You may want to find a gay dating website that allows you to go through live chats that people can use in order to have a more intimate and personalized conversation with one another. You can learn more about each other through these chats. A good gay dating service is about much more than a basic profile.
Want to meet hot gay singles? Check out top rated gay dating sites now. David Kamau writes dating articles and dating site reviews at his site and blog.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_N_Kamau
The Truth Behind Being Gay
I feel compelled to share some of the wisdom I've acquired about souls and how they relate to the issue of people being labeled as gay. This is some of the metaphysics behind the truths I have found which explain and finally brings to light what being gay really is.
This is a polarizing topic to say the least, with strong opinions on each side of the topic. Some people are against what is referred to as homosexuality and believe that there is something wrong with people who fall into that category. Gay people in our society have been persecuted for their nature and although over time the public appears to be getting more and more tolerant of these peoples choices, there still remains a lot of sick psychotic opposition to gay people having rights and being treated like any other human being.
If you look at the trend, it's just a matter of time when people laugh at the fact that at one time in our history homosexuality was considered a bad thing. It will soon be common place and something that is normal and acceptable in the near future, just look at the way homosexuals are obtaining more and more tolerance and acceptability from society. Well except for the middle east where man's immature consciousness is very slow in awakening from its fear of what it sees in the mirror.
Opposite of Love is Fear
So what were all the intolerance, anger and non acceptance about in the first place? Well fear of course. If god is love, then the polarity of that which is the darkest things that men do derives from its opposite, which is fear. The opposite of love is fear, not hate. Hate is a byproduct of fear and man's fear always precedes his hate.
Our world, or society, is on a constant expansion of consciousness, is constantly maturing. We are growing up in more ways than one. And at each maturation level we are exposed to more and more truths and we have to process it and be OK with it. Our first response when faced with new and different occurrences is to react in fear. To say no, to fight against the change be it people or information.
A famous and obvious example is of the so called colored people in our society. How did society, the haves, deal with the influx of other people who had not? At first they reacted sternly with no! And as time went on, we now have a black president.
This is the way of the world, of human nature since the fall of man. Be it people from Africa being labeled slaves, or people from Mexico being labeled as illegals, or people who are just being true to their nature being called homosexuals. We tend to react in fear and say no, then eventually we seem to accept what is. Eckhart Tolle and Buddha both say:
"all suffering comes from not accepting what is".
Now that we have had this little walk down memory lane on how society tends to react with "no"; at new and different information. Here is something else that eventually will be accepted for the truth that it is.
What causes someone to be Gay?
We are not humans having spiritual experiences; we are spirits having a human experience. The true nature of a spirit is androgynous, neither male nor female. There is no gender in the spirit world which is the true nature of our existence. Gender is something that is experienced in physical reality, which is a creation of the spirit world.
Spirits created our world, our universe in order to play in it to have experiences. Why? Because they can. In truth there is only one spirit and all other spirits are copies of this source spirit. See the prime radiant for more info.
Spirits incarnate into our physical world in human form and live their lives as us in an ever evolving, never ending story that is the totality of our worlds and universes. In the game being played out on Earth there are about 300 million individual souls playing the part of the over 7 billion people on the planet. This includes every man woman and child that has ever lived and will live also. We have come before and we shall come again. Each soul can have up to 12 concurrent lives here on Earth. The number of our universe is 12. These concurrent lives may be of male or female or a mixture of both.
Spirits enter into the "Earth game" for periods of different cycles. The long cycle is the procession of the equinox which is the time it takes the sun to complete its orbit of the Milky Way galaxy; about 25,900 years.
Everything in the Universe spins, as movement is the nature of life. We are alive because our blood cells circulate our bodies once every 30 seconds. The Earth, which is a living being, spins on its axis once every 24 hours. The moon spins around the Earth. The Earth spins around the Sun, and unbeknownst to most people who exit society's public school system, the Sun also moves in a circle around our galaxy and its central sun Alcyone (all see one). This is the aforementioned long cycle of 25,900 years. There are even larger cycles above this where our galaxy spins around larger objects. This goes on never ending to infinity. But the human mind has difficulty understanding infinity and things this large and amazing. It brings up the fear response mentioned above and this is why we don't teach, acknowledge or even believe this when we hear it. It's much too scary.
That was the Macro version as things get bigger. Life also does the same cycles and maturation on the microscopic levels. That same blood cell which circles the body every 30 seconds is made of things we call atoms, which contain things like a nucleolus, which looks and acts like a sun because things we call protons and electrons go around it in a circle. Things actually get smaller and smaller without end to infinity also.
This is how amazingly powerful the world we live in is, just imagine how beyond our understanding the spirit world which created all this is? Do not try to understand it with your mind, you will likely just be in fear and choose not to believe what is. It is simple easier for society, up until now to simply say, we do not know, and ignore all possibilities.
But like the Africans and the Mexicans and the Gays, eventually the truth of accepting what IS works its way into the mind and consciousness of society and as humanity accepts these truths, it grows in consciousness.
So now we are being told that spirits incarnate into humanity over and over, that we have all had many lives here on Earth, that at the soul level we are truly immortal, that there is really no devil or hell, this was simply once again man using fear to shift the blame from himself. It was better to say that the devil made me do it. Everyone really goes back to the spirit world which is more like heaven than anything else, and that the true nature of reality is based on love, and that everything else is really just an illusion.
Duality/Polarity
Part of the illusion of Earth existence is duality, plurality. Everything on Earth has an opposite and everything is defined by its opposite. This is all to set up the fact that we can choose to see, do and believe this or that. It truth, in the spirit world there is just oneness and everyone knows peace and joy. Worlds like Earth were created so that spirits would have a place to experience polarized versions of the spirit world. We could now be this thing called male or female. Believe it or not there are worlds where there are 3 of everything, even 3 genders. Those are in trinary systems. Here we are in a binary system and so there are 2 of everything. Now you know why everything you see created by our computers is based on the binary system. It is the base system of this universe we are playing in. The spirits playfully introduce this info everywhere like in the episode of Fringe called "there is two of everything".
So now you have a slightly better understanding of how there are 2 genders for us to play with. And as we incarnate from lifetime to lifetime we sometimes live lives as male and others as female. We even go through cycles that are masculine and famine. We are actually now coming out of a patriarchal cycle or age here on Earth. Which means that the focus was on the masculine nature of our existence? As you can see it has been out of balance and far too masculine. This has led to much war, strife and suffering.
Before that though we were in a more matriarchal cycle where there were talks of the divine feminine. Where woman were more appreciated and respected and there was more peace and caring and a nurturing way of things, which is the way of the feminine. Think about the Native American and how they saw the Earth as a mother. How some faiths center on Jesus and yet with others, the main focus is on his mother Mary.
Now you understand the true meaning of the Yin and Yang as it applies to cycles in creation. Our world is based on duality and polarity and the many choices we get to experience due to these aspects of its nature.
The soul as it incarnates into physical reality tends to seek balance as it gathers experiences and grows as a soul. It does not spend every life here as male or vice versa. It tends to balances itself over time. One of the things happening now on Earth is that we are at the end of a great cycle and that is what all the 2012 stuff is about. We are also leaving a patriarchal cycle and trying to bring that into balance to where it is both male and female equally. This balance of masculine and feminine is more on a larger scale energetically where we are dealing with the nature of these energies, and not so much as on the sexual aspects, which is what society mostly sees. Consider that there are indeed grander aspects of being masculine and feminine at play here than just our sexual parts and who we want to sleep with.
When you see someone who is say... a gay woman for example, what you have is a soul whose last lives or past lives left it with a more masculine nature. And since souls are immortal they retain the thoughts, likes, dislikes, urges, needs, traits from their accumulative existences. This means that this is a soul whose nature is more masculine in nature and now it has chosen to incarnate in a female body.
Now the reasons for choosing to incarnate in a female body can be many. The obvious reason is to balance its energies which may be well overdue. Some souls like to be male all the time and some choose to be female. It is just a free choice preference that we are allowed to make. But over time, their true nature is androgynous so when it is all said and done, to actually graduate from Earth school, with honors, one tends to have to be balanced. So the reason for choosing a female body this life time can be simply just to balance.
With this attempt to balance, society sees a female that likes other females. And this is the truth behind homosexuality. So yes, she was born that way. No one makes you gay; it is from your true nature and your incarnations over time. This is why people find themselves in bodies of a gender that seems to cause a bit of confusion when they apply societal norms, fears and values. In the end, when one has the full picture, we see what we find whenever we take a close look at creation, that there really is no problem, that everything is as it should be. When we accept what IS, there is no suffering.
Creation is Perfect
The creator and therefore creation is perfect, loving, and we are all nurtured and encompassed in unconditional love. Society tends to believe at times that it is not OK, and says no! But it tends to eventually see that this is always (all ways) OK.
So put away the fear of that other version of you who is masculine and now finds itself in a female body. When you hate others you hate yourself. Your enemy is your inner me. Remember it is only you playing the Earth game, where you forget who you are and have an experience as someone else on Earth. You have been every race, every gender, every class, the good guy and the bad guy. And all suffering, war, hate or strife came from you choosing to be that way to the other version of you. And when you decide you have had enough, you will stop and have a thousand years of peace, joy and prosperity.
And if you are one of these souls who feel ashamed or regret who you are due to societal limits, know that you are perfect because you exist. You are needed at this time. The creator is flooding our world with feminine energy so that we can bring this masculine age into balance before we enter the Age of Aquarius. This is why there are so many females being born in India at the present time. Remember there are only about 300 million souls playing this game, so many of the masculine inclined souls have chosen to enter as female to support the cause and the creators call. So you are a perfect divine servant of the creator who is here to bring the Earth into balance, even though you knew the price you would pay initially in order to bring about balance. You are perfect. Same goes for men who find themselves being feminine in nature. It accomplishes the same thing; more feminine energy on Earth. These are also more advanced souls who were selected to play the so called "gay" role. Many were called and few were chosen.
So here you have the truth behind homosexuality. Will you accept what is? What say ye?
For more information on the nature of the spirit world, get and read "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton, and "Conversation with God" by Neale Donald Walsch. Also lots of stuff on souls, Angels and the true nature of reality at my blog CreationIsLove.com. And if you simply really dig this metaphysical stuff, then go to my Bashar page on my blog and enjoy.
Norman Bird is a student/teacher of New Age Spirituality, Meta Physics, Healing & Alchemy. I blog at CreationIsLove.com. I also maintain LightWorkersDirectory.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norman_Bird
This is a polarizing topic to say the least, with strong opinions on each side of the topic. Some people are against what is referred to as homosexuality and believe that there is something wrong with people who fall into that category. Gay people in our society have been persecuted for their nature and although over time the public appears to be getting more and more tolerant of these peoples choices, there still remains a lot of sick psychotic opposition to gay people having rights and being treated like any other human being.
If you look at the trend, it's just a matter of time when people laugh at the fact that at one time in our history homosexuality was considered a bad thing. It will soon be common place and something that is normal and acceptable in the near future, just look at the way homosexuals are obtaining more and more tolerance and acceptability from society. Well except for the middle east where man's immature consciousness is very slow in awakening from its fear of what it sees in the mirror.
Opposite of Love is Fear
So what were all the intolerance, anger and non acceptance about in the first place? Well fear of course. If god is love, then the polarity of that which is the darkest things that men do derives from its opposite, which is fear. The opposite of love is fear, not hate. Hate is a byproduct of fear and man's fear always precedes his hate.
Our world, or society, is on a constant expansion of consciousness, is constantly maturing. We are growing up in more ways than one. And at each maturation level we are exposed to more and more truths and we have to process it and be OK with it. Our first response when faced with new and different occurrences is to react in fear. To say no, to fight against the change be it people or information.
A famous and obvious example is of the so called colored people in our society. How did society, the haves, deal with the influx of other people who had not? At first they reacted sternly with no! And as time went on, we now have a black president.
This is the way of the world, of human nature since the fall of man. Be it people from Africa being labeled slaves, or people from Mexico being labeled as illegals, or people who are just being true to their nature being called homosexuals. We tend to react in fear and say no, then eventually we seem to accept what is. Eckhart Tolle and Buddha both say:
"all suffering comes from not accepting what is".
Now that we have had this little walk down memory lane on how society tends to react with "no"; at new and different information. Here is something else that eventually will be accepted for the truth that it is.
What causes someone to be Gay?
We are not humans having spiritual experiences; we are spirits having a human experience. The true nature of a spirit is androgynous, neither male nor female. There is no gender in the spirit world which is the true nature of our existence. Gender is something that is experienced in physical reality, which is a creation of the spirit world.
Spirits created our world, our universe in order to play in it to have experiences. Why? Because they can. In truth there is only one spirit and all other spirits are copies of this source spirit. See the prime radiant for more info.
Spirits incarnate into our physical world in human form and live their lives as us in an ever evolving, never ending story that is the totality of our worlds and universes. In the game being played out on Earth there are about 300 million individual souls playing the part of the over 7 billion people on the planet. This includes every man woman and child that has ever lived and will live also. We have come before and we shall come again. Each soul can have up to 12 concurrent lives here on Earth. The number of our universe is 12. These concurrent lives may be of male or female or a mixture of both.
Spirits enter into the "Earth game" for periods of different cycles. The long cycle is the procession of the equinox which is the time it takes the sun to complete its orbit of the Milky Way galaxy; about 25,900 years.
Everything in the Universe spins, as movement is the nature of life. We are alive because our blood cells circulate our bodies once every 30 seconds. The Earth, which is a living being, spins on its axis once every 24 hours. The moon spins around the Earth. The Earth spins around the Sun, and unbeknownst to most people who exit society's public school system, the Sun also moves in a circle around our galaxy and its central sun Alcyone (all see one). This is the aforementioned long cycle of 25,900 years. There are even larger cycles above this where our galaxy spins around larger objects. This goes on never ending to infinity. But the human mind has difficulty understanding infinity and things this large and amazing. It brings up the fear response mentioned above and this is why we don't teach, acknowledge or even believe this when we hear it. It's much too scary.
That was the Macro version as things get bigger. Life also does the same cycles and maturation on the microscopic levels. That same blood cell which circles the body every 30 seconds is made of things we call atoms, which contain things like a nucleolus, which looks and acts like a sun because things we call protons and electrons go around it in a circle. Things actually get smaller and smaller without end to infinity also.
This is how amazingly powerful the world we live in is, just imagine how beyond our understanding the spirit world which created all this is? Do not try to understand it with your mind, you will likely just be in fear and choose not to believe what is. It is simple easier for society, up until now to simply say, we do not know, and ignore all possibilities.
But like the Africans and the Mexicans and the Gays, eventually the truth of accepting what IS works its way into the mind and consciousness of society and as humanity accepts these truths, it grows in consciousness.
So now we are being told that spirits incarnate into humanity over and over, that we have all had many lives here on Earth, that at the soul level we are truly immortal, that there is really no devil or hell, this was simply once again man using fear to shift the blame from himself. It was better to say that the devil made me do it. Everyone really goes back to the spirit world which is more like heaven than anything else, and that the true nature of reality is based on love, and that everything else is really just an illusion.
Duality/Polarity
Part of the illusion of Earth existence is duality, plurality. Everything on Earth has an opposite and everything is defined by its opposite. This is all to set up the fact that we can choose to see, do and believe this or that. It truth, in the spirit world there is just oneness and everyone knows peace and joy. Worlds like Earth were created so that spirits would have a place to experience polarized versions of the spirit world. We could now be this thing called male or female. Believe it or not there are worlds where there are 3 of everything, even 3 genders. Those are in trinary systems. Here we are in a binary system and so there are 2 of everything. Now you know why everything you see created by our computers is based on the binary system. It is the base system of this universe we are playing in. The spirits playfully introduce this info everywhere like in the episode of Fringe called "there is two of everything".
So now you have a slightly better understanding of how there are 2 genders for us to play with. And as we incarnate from lifetime to lifetime we sometimes live lives as male and others as female. We even go through cycles that are masculine and famine. We are actually now coming out of a patriarchal cycle or age here on Earth. Which means that the focus was on the masculine nature of our existence? As you can see it has been out of balance and far too masculine. This has led to much war, strife and suffering.
Before that though we were in a more matriarchal cycle where there were talks of the divine feminine. Where woman were more appreciated and respected and there was more peace and caring and a nurturing way of things, which is the way of the feminine. Think about the Native American and how they saw the Earth as a mother. How some faiths center on Jesus and yet with others, the main focus is on his mother Mary.
Now you understand the true meaning of the Yin and Yang as it applies to cycles in creation. Our world is based on duality and polarity and the many choices we get to experience due to these aspects of its nature.
The soul as it incarnates into physical reality tends to seek balance as it gathers experiences and grows as a soul. It does not spend every life here as male or vice versa. It tends to balances itself over time. One of the things happening now on Earth is that we are at the end of a great cycle and that is what all the 2012 stuff is about. We are also leaving a patriarchal cycle and trying to bring that into balance to where it is both male and female equally. This balance of masculine and feminine is more on a larger scale energetically where we are dealing with the nature of these energies, and not so much as on the sexual aspects, which is what society mostly sees. Consider that there are indeed grander aspects of being masculine and feminine at play here than just our sexual parts and who we want to sleep with.
When you see someone who is say... a gay woman for example, what you have is a soul whose last lives or past lives left it with a more masculine nature. And since souls are immortal they retain the thoughts, likes, dislikes, urges, needs, traits from their accumulative existences. This means that this is a soul whose nature is more masculine in nature and now it has chosen to incarnate in a female body.
Now the reasons for choosing to incarnate in a female body can be many. The obvious reason is to balance its energies which may be well overdue. Some souls like to be male all the time and some choose to be female. It is just a free choice preference that we are allowed to make. But over time, their true nature is androgynous so when it is all said and done, to actually graduate from Earth school, with honors, one tends to have to be balanced. So the reason for choosing a female body this life time can be simply just to balance.
With this attempt to balance, society sees a female that likes other females. And this is the truth behind homosexuality. So yes, she was born that way. No one makes you gay; it is from your true nature and your incarnations over time. This is why people find themselves in bodies of a gender that seems to cause a bit of confusion when they apply societal norms, fears and values. In the end, when one has the full picture, we see what we find whenever we take a close look at creation, that there really is no problem, that everything is as it should be. When we accept what IS, there is no suffering.
Creation is Perfect
The creator and therefore creation is perfect, loving, and we are all nurtured and encompassed in unconditional love. Society tends to believe at times that it is not OK, and says no! But it tends to eventually see that this is always (all ways) OK.
So put away the fear of that other version of you who is masculine and now finds itself in a female body. When you hate others you hate yourself. Your enemy is your inner me. Remember it is only you playing the Earth game, where you forget who you are and have an experience as someone else on Earth. You have been every race, every gender, every class, the good guy and the bad guy. And all suffering, war, hate or strife came from you choosing to be that way to the other version of you. And when you decide you have had enough, you will stop and have a thousand years of peace, joy and prosperity.
And if you are one of these souls who feel ashamed or regret who you are due to societal limits, know that you are perfect because you exist. You are needed at this time. The creator is flooding our world with feminine energy so that we can bring this masculine age into balance before we enter the Age of Aquarius. This is why there are so many females being born in India at the present time. Remember there are only about 300 million souls playing this game, so many of the masculine inclined souls have chosen to enter as female to support the cause and the creators call. So you are a perfect divine servant of the creator who is here to bring the Earth into balance, even though you knew the price you would pay initially in order to bring about balance. You are perfect. Same goes for men who find themselves being feminine in nature. It accomplishes the same thing; more feminine energy on Earth. These are also more advanced souls who were selected to play the so called "gay" role. Many were called and few were chosen.
So here you have the truth behind homosexuality. Will you accept what is? What say ye?
For more information on the nature of the spirit world, get and read "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton, and "Conversation with God" by Neale Donald Walsch. Also lots of stuff on souls, Angels and the true nature of reality at my blog CreationIsLove.com. And if you simply really dig this metaphysical stuff, then go to my Bashar page on my blog and enjoy.
Norman Bird is a student/teacher of New Age Spirituality, Meta Physics, Healing & Alchemy. I blog at CreationIsLove.com. I also maintain LightWorkersDirectory.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norman_Bird
I'M Gay - Is That Okay?
For many men and women, confronted with their true sexuality for the first time, realization that they are Gay can be something of a heart-stopper. Brought up in a predominantly heterosexual world where everything is geared towards male-female relationships, the thought that they are different - to use one of the more harmless terms - is a fact which can be very difficult to come to terms with, especially when the thought of family and friends, acquaintances, work colleagues and their potential reactions to a Coming Out or, worse, an unwanted Outing are taken into account. Being Gay is, however, a fairly simple fact of life; it is everything which surrounds this fact that is complicated and, for many, extremely disturbing.
Firstly, there is nothing wrong with being Gay, nothing amiss with loving a person of the same gender. It is a perfectly normal biological fact and, as such, one which should not be relegated to the darker recesses of their mind or completely ignored. The worst thing that a person can do, once they realize that they are Gay, is to try and lead a so-called normal life by suppressing their true self, their feelings and emotions and pretending that nothing is out of the ordinary. While this idea may seem easy enough when set down on paper, real life is often not quite as one would wish and each individual has a different way of dealing with uncomfortable facts of life.
For many, coming to terms with their sexuality is the first step towards realizing that being Gay is an absolutely normal part of life. Coupled with the knowledge that they are not alone, that many, many thousands of others have gone through exactly the same process, the same thoughts and emotions, it is easy enough to find enough balanced and informative assistance. This is not to say that each individual should seek help or try to solve their predicament through advice from others, but the experiences of thousands of Gay people are readily available for anyone who wishes to see what sort of life is lead, what is expected of members of the Gay community and how they, as an individual, fit into the whole.
In essence there is nothing different between a Gay person and a heterosexual one, aside from their sexual preferences. All live their lives as best they can within their community: work and play are exactly the same, according to each person's interests; friendships are exactly the same, bearing in mind that some people are either prejudiced against Gay men and women and others merely cautious; Gay people have pets, interests, jobs, cars, a house and family exactly the same as most other people.
For many, when they first come to realize that they are - or may be - Gay, the hardest part of the whole is convincing themselves that what they are, what they feel, the way that they act is perfectly normal. It is not just a case of balancing personal preferences against the normal, accepted social standards which surround them, accepting a different sexual preference after a lifetime of heterosexual influences can be akin to beginning from scratch. Everything that has been taught them, all the mild taunts towards other people, general and more specific attitudes, the news reports of attacks, vilification, forced Outings, all these things make personal acceptance difficult and can appear to turn a well-ordered and settled life completely upon its head. And yet, walking down any street in any town, who can say which of those people seen are also Gay, or which have some other secret in their lives which we, as outsiders, are not privy to? Each one of them appears normal, exactly as we do. Is it all right to be Gay? Is it normal to be Gay? The answer to both questions is a resounding: Yes, it is perfectly normal to be Gay.
Viktoria Michaelis is an American student (born July 1992) currently resident in Germany on a Student Exchange Program Intensive Training Course in Property Management, Investment, Insolvency and Executive Management Skills prior to studying Business Studies and Economics at Bremen University. She regularly writes in her personal Blog at Viktoria Michaelis.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Viktoria_Michaelis
Firstly, there is nothing wrong with being Gay, nothing amiss with loving a person of the same gender. It is a perfectly normal biological fact and, as such, one which should not be relegated to the darker recesses of their mind or completely ignored. The worst thing that a person can do, once they realize that they are Gay, is to try and lead a so-called normal life by suppressing their true self, their feelings and emotions and pretending that nothing is out of the ordinary. While this idea may seem easy enough when set down on paper, real life is often not quite as one would wish and each individual has a different way of dealing with uncomfortable facts of life.
For many, coming to terms with their sexuality is the first step towards realizing that being Gay is an absolutely normal part of life. Coupled with the knowledge that they are not alone, that many, many thousands of others have gone through exactly the same process, the same thoughts and emotions, it is easy enough to find enough balanced and informative assistance. This is not to say that each individual should seek help or try to solve their predicament through advice from others, but the experiences of thousands of Gay people are readily available for anyone who wishes to see what sort of life is lead, what is expected of members of the Gay community and how they, as an individual, fit into the whole.
In essence there is nothing different between a Gay person and a heterosexual one, aside from their sexual preferences. All live their lives as best they can within their community: work and play are exactly the same, according to each person's interests; friendships are exactly the same, bearing in mind that some people are either prejudiced against Gay men and women and others merely cautious; Gay people have pets, interests, jobs, cars, a house and family exactly the same as most other people.
For many, when they first come to realize that they are - or may be - Gay, the hardest part of the whole is convincing themselves that what they are, what they feel, the way that they act is perfectly normal. It is not just a case of balancing personal preferences against the normal, accepted social standards which surround them, accepting a different sexual preference after a lifetime of heterosexual influences can be akin to beginning from scratch. Everything that has been taught them, all the mild taunts towards other people, general and more specific attitudes, the news reports of attacks, vilification, forced Outings, all these things make personal acceptance difficult and can appear to turn a well-ordered and settled life completely upon its head. And yet, walking down any street in any town, who can say which of those people seen are also Gay, or which have some other secret in their lives which we, as outsiders, are not privy to? Each one of them appears normal, exactly as we do. Is it all right to be Gay? Is it normal to be Gay? The answer to both questions is a resounding: Yes, it is perfectly normal to be Gay.
Viktoria Michaelis is an American student (born July 1992) currently resident in Germany on a Student Exchange Program Intensive Training Course in Property Management, Investment, Insolvency and Executive Management Skills prior to studying Business Studies and Economics at Bremen University. She regularly writes in her personal Blog at Viktoria Michaelis.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Viktoria_Michaelis
Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Gay Marriage
Written by a straight man, this article highlights some of the best reasons to support legalizing gay marriage. Marriage is the key ingredient for a happiness and stability and this shouldn't be denied from gay persons. If America wants to call itself free there simply is no other option.
1. It's simply the right thing to do.
2. Gay parents have been proven to be just as good parents as straight parents. Also, there are countless children waiting to be adopted and gay persons in wedlock are more likely to have children.
3. Children that are raised by gay parents have no more chance of being gay children than any other child. This is a notorious lie that has been perpetuated by hate and the extreme conservative right-wing of American politics. Being gay results from nature, not nurture.
4. To support the troops. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has been repealed but this doesn't alleviate stress caused by not allowing gay partners to marry. It's not good policy to let gay combatants fight for their country with the uncertainty they have for what might happen to their partner if they die while fighting.
5. To give survivors rights to gay couples. Currently gay partners are not able to fully exercise their right to handle the legal matters of their dying partner and cannot fully be there for them in their final years. This is an insult to humanity to deny gay persons of the dignity of having their most loved and trusted person in the world be there during their last days.
6. For economy stability. Not just for the tax credits that straight married people enjoy, but also for the stability of the American economy. Allowing gay people to get married would give a growing population increased spending power. The tax benefits and extension of credit with two incomes in a married relationship could increase spending in industries such as durable goods, home improvement, automobiles, childcare, services, event planning, the economic benefits are endless!
7. Gay people deserve happiness just as much as straight people. Happiness derives from the love and devotion that comes from marriage. While it's true that many gay people are happy with the arrangement they currently have. They have two incomes, successful careers, and if they don't have children they more have more disposable income, but they commonly still feel like something is missing.
8. To reduce depression in adolescents. Giving gay children the hope that they can get married some day and have children in a socially acceptable country will reduce depression among gay young people. Straight children are allowed this freedom and should be no surprise that many gay teenagers experience extreme depression.
9. To reduce gay bullying in schools. If we legalize gay marriage, there will be one less reason for gay children to get teased. They will be less reluctant to be ashamed of their personal preference and will have hope that they can be just as happy as their straight counterparts.
10. To help end the hate and intolerance of homosexuality in America. Just because America has a long history of prejudice that's no reason to keep perpetuating it. The unwelcoming fringes of our society seems to become accustomed to moving from alienating one demographic to another and the resistance to gay marriage is just another example of prejudice in America.
Learn more about supporting legalizing gay marriage and the growing social movement at:
http://defenseofgaymarriage.blogspot.com/
The Defense of Gay Marriage Act (DGMA) - Started in 2011 by the people supporting gay rights and human rights in America and throughout the world!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justin_Mohs
1. It's simply the right thing to do.
2. Gay parents have been proven to be just as good parents as straight parents. Also, there are countless children waiting to be adopted and gay persons in wedlock are more likely to have children.
3. Children that are raised by gay parents have no more chance of being gay children than any other child. This is a notorious lie that has been perpetuated by hate and the extreme conservative right-wing of American politics. Being gay results from nature, not nurture.
4. To support the troops. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has been repealed but this doesn't alleviate stress caused by not allowing gay partners to marry. It's not good policy to let gay combatants fight for their country with the uncertainty they have for what might happen to their partner if they die while fighting.
5. To give survivors rights to gay couples. Currently gay partners are not able to fully exercise their right to handle the legal matters of their dying partner and cannot fully be there for them in their final years. This is an insult to humanity to deny gay persons of the dignity of having their most loved and trusted person in the world be there during their last days.
6. For economy stability. Not just for the tax credits that straight married people enjoy, but also for the stability of the American economy. Allowing gay people to get married would give a growing population increased spending power. The tax benefits and extension of credit with two incomes in a married relationship could increase spending in industries such as durable goods, home improvement, automobiles, childcare, services, event planning, the economic benefits are endless!
7. Gay people deserve happiness just as much as straight people. Happiness derives from the love and devotion that comes from marriage. While it's true that many gay people are happy with the arrangement they currently have. They have two incomes, successful careers, and if they don't have children they more have more disposable income, but they commonly still feel like something is missing.
8. To reduce depression in adolescents. Giving gay children the hope that they can get married some day and have children in a socially acceptable country will reduce depression among gay young people. Straight children are allowed this freedom and should be no surprise that many gay teenagers experience extreme depression.
9. To reduce gay bullying in schools. If we legalize gay marriage, there will be one less reason for gay children to get teased. They will be less reluctant to be ashamed of their personal preference and will have hope that they can be just as happy as their straight counterparts.
10. To help end the hate and intolerance of homosexuality in America. Just because America has a long history of prejudice that's no reason to keep perpetuating it. The unwelcoming fringes of our society seems to become accustomed to moving from alienating one demographic to another and the resistance to gay marriage is just another example of prejudice in America.
Learn more about supporting legalizing gay marriage and the growing social movement at:
http://defenseofgaymarriage.blogspot.com/
The Defense of Gay Marriage Act (DGMA) - Started in 2011 by the people supporting gay rights and human rights in America and throughout the world!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justin_Mohs
Simple And Easy Flirting Tips For Gays
Flirting can be absolutely fun; be it flirting simply for flirting sake, or flirting to make someone know you are interested in something serious with them. When you approach flirting with ease and self-assurance, it will make the experience not just fruitful but also satisfying. Below we will go through some flirting tips that can be used generally, but also flirting tips for gays.
Being Sociable
Approach this with the thought that it is not a life and death situation. When you have decided to take it easy and go with the flow, you will be able to be yourself, and be approachable. The possibility exists that you may be able to make an actual link with a guy you are interested in, however, if that does not happen, you should be cognizant of the fact that opportunities for flirting are infinite.
Appearance and Body Language
Being clean is a given, but it is important that your outfit is eye-catching and trendy. There will be those days when you are not feeling your best, but when you are having those days, you can always pretend as if you are in the greatest of spirits. This is important as who likes a sad sack? Guys will be attracted to you if you have an upbeat personality.
Striking up a Conversation
Stepping up to a stranger can be very intimidating. This is definitely one of the more challenging aspects of flirting. Try to stay clear of pick-up lines as they are not at all effective. To make a good impression, it would be prudent if you pay attention to the guy you want to impress. Observe what he drinks, wears, his smile and then make a point to compliment him. Bring you're A-game as that will get you in the door. Just make sure that when you have gotten the in, that you maintain the conversation as that will improve you chances of keeping the guy interested.
Shyness
Not being familiar with your surroundings may make you uncomfortable and less willing to put yourself out there. However, if you are savvy, you may be able to turn this around in your own favour. One flirting tip for gays would be for you to walk up to the guy who grabbed your attention and ask him something about the place. If it is his usual hang out, then this may start the conversation flowing; especially if you ask the right questions. However, even if he is also new to the venue, then you two can compare notes with respect to what you have observed.
Showing Interest
Another great general flirting tip but also a smart flirting tip for gays is for you to modify your flirting to attract the type of persons you prefer, or the depth of connection you want to achieve. That is, if you are really just looking for a one-time thing, then it is fine if you come across as being assertive. However, if the target of your affection is someone you may want to pursue something long-term with, then it would behoove you to thread a little more cautiously so as not to turn him off.
Fernando Gil invites you to visit his blog to learn the best tips on flirting and become a master in flirting and seduction. Take action and flirt today a litle bit more than yesterday.
If you want to learn more, you can go the answers section of my blog and ask whatever you want to know. Join the discussion and learn good tips for flirting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Fernando_Gil
Being Sociable
Approach this with the thought that it is not a life and death situation. When you have decided to take it easy and go with the flow, you will be able to be yourself, and be approachable. The possibility exists that you may be able to make an actual link with a guy you are interested in, however, if that does not happen, you should be cognizant of the fact that opportunities for flirting are infinite.
Appearance and Body Language
Being clean is a given, but it is important that your outfit is eye-catching and trendy. There will be those days when you are not feeling your best, but when you are having those days, you can always pretend as if you are in the greatest of spirits. This is important as who likes a sad sack? Guys will be attracted to you if you have an upbeat personality.
Striking up a Conversation
Stepping up to a stranger can be very intimidating. This is definitely one of the more challenging aspects of flirting. Try to stay clear of pick-up lines as they are not at all effective. To make a good impression, it would be prudent if you pay attention to the guy you want to impress. Observe what he drinks, wears, his smile and then make a point to compliment him. Bring you're A-game as that will get you in the door. Just make sure that when you have gotten the in, that you maintain the conversation as that will improve you chances of keeping the guy interested.
Shyness
Not being familiar with your surroundings may make you uncomfortable and less willing to put yourself out there. However, if you are savvy, you may be able to turn this around in your own favour. One flirting tip for gays would be for you to walk up to the guy who grabbed your attention and ask him something about the place. If it is his usual hang out, then this may start the conversation flowing; especially if you ask the right questions. However, even if he is also new to the venue, then you two can compare notes with respect to what you have observed.
Showing Interest
Another great general flirting tip but also a smart flirting tip for gays is for you to modify your flirting to attract the type of persons you prefer, or the depth of connection you want to achieve. That is, if you are really just looking for a one-time thing, then it is fine if you come across as being assertive. However, if the target of your affection is someone you may want to pursue something long-term with, then it would behoove you to thread a little more cautiously so as not to turn him off.
Fernando Gil invites you to visit his blog to learn the best tips on flirting and become a master in flirting and seduction. Take action and flirt today a litle bit more than yesterday.
If you want to learn more, you can go the answers section of my blog and ask whatever you want to know. Join the discussion and learn good tips for flirting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Fernando_Gil
Importance of Estate Planning for the Gay and Lesbian Communities
Couples in traditional marriages have it easy. Although they should have Wills and Powers of Attorney, the law is written to protect their rights. However, the Gay and Lesbian community does not have such protections in states that do not recognize homosexual marriage. The good news is that with a few legal documents, the gay and lesbian community can solidify their legal rights.
The first document that people in committed homosexual relationships should have is a Will. Traditional married couples are protected by the law in that without a Will, the law assumes that when one spouse dies, in most cases the other spouse will inherit all of the deceased spouse's property. (This is not always the case, so be sure to consult a lawyer to understand the laws of your state.) However, states that do not recognize homosexual marriage will not have any protections. When one partner dies, the other partner would have no legal claim to any of the deceased partner's property. However, if each partner writes a Will and specifies that the property should go to the other partner (or however you would like your property divided), the courts will divide property as your Will states, assuming the will is fully and legally executed.
Another important legal document for homosexual couples in committed relationships are Powers of Attorney. Couples in a traditional marriage are generally protected by state laws because courts generally allow one spouse to make medical or financial decisions for the other spouse if he or she is incapacitated and cannot make decisions by himself or herself. Unfortunately, people in homosexual relationships do not have such protection. In fact, sometimes one partner will not even be able to visit the other partner in the hospital during "family only" visiting hours. If, however, you have a medical Power of Attorney stating that your partner has authority to make medical decisions for you in the event that you are incapacitated, the law will recognize such decision-making authority. The medical Power of Attorney is also likely enough to allow one partner to visit the other during "family visitation hours." While I am on the topic of medical Powers of Attorney, you should also have a HIPAA Release Authorization. This will authorize your partner to have access to important medical information which is especially important if you are incapacitated and he or she needs to make medical decisions for you.
Similar to medical Powers of Attorney, a Durable or Statutory Power of Attorney is also important. This will allow the authorized person to pay your bills, access your bank accounts, and make other financial decisions for you in the event of your incapacity. If you are unable to do these things for yourself, it is important that someone you trust has the ability to pay your bills for you.
Finally, everyone should have a Living Will. a Living Will is a document which states your wishes related to life support in the event that you have a terminal illness or injury. You should keep a copy of your Living Will in your medical records at your doctor's office.
The documents described in this article are important for everyone to have, but especially people in committed homosexual relationships. They simply solidify your legal rights and ensure your wishes and desires are known. Having the documents will prevent expensive legal battles among your family and loved ones. It s also important to update the documents as your life changes. Be sure that the people named as authorized agents are people you trust to make the important decisions under stressful conditions. It is always better to be prepared early because you never know what is going to happen in the future.
Jonathan Geserick MBA, JD is a recognized expert in Wills, Estate Planning, and Probate. He is currently a licensed attorney in Texas. His website is a leading provider of professional Texas Wills and other estate planning documents.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_R_Geserick
The first document that people in committed homosexual relationships should have is a Will. Traditional married couples are protected by the law in that without a Will, the law assumes that when one spouse dies, in most cases the other spouse will inherit all of the deceased spouse's property. (This is not always the case, so be sure to consult a lawyer to understand the laws of your state.) However, states that do not recognize homosexual marriage will not have any protections. When one partner dies, the other partner would have no legal claim to any of the deceased partner's property. However, if each partner writes a Will and specifies that the property should go to the other partner (or however you would like your property divided), the courts will divide property as your Will states, assuming the will is fully and legally executed.
Another important legal document for homosexual couples in committed relationships are Powers of Attorney. Couples in a traditional marriage are generally protected by state laws because courts generally allow one spouse to make medical or financial decisions for the other spouse if he or she is incapacitated and cannot make decisions by himself or herself. Unfortunately, people in homosexual relationships do not have such protection. In fact, sometimes one partner will not even be able to visit the other partner in the hospital during "family only" visiting hours. If, however, you have a medical Power of Attorney stating that your partner has authority to make medical decisions for you in the event that you are incapacitated, the law will recognize such decision-making authority. The medical Power of Attorney is also likely enough to allow one partner to visit the other during "family visitation hours." While I am on the topic of medical Powers of Attorney, you should also have a HIPAA Release Authorization. This will authorize your partner to have access to important medical information which is especially important if you are incapacitated and he or she needs to make medical decisions for you.
Similar to medical Powers of Attorney, a Durable or Statutory Power of Attorney is also important. This will allow the authorized person to pay your bills, access your bank accounts, and make other financial decisions for you in the event of your incapacity. If you are unable to do these things for yourself, it is important that someone you trust has the ability to pay your bills for you.
Finally, everyone should have a Living Will. a Living Will is a document which states your wishes related to life support in the event that you have a terminal illness or injury. You should keep a copy of your Living Will in your medical records at your doctor's office.
The documents described in this article are important for everyone to have, but especially people in committed homosexual relationships. They simply solidify your legal rights and ensure your wishes and desires are known. Having the documents will prevent expensive legal battles among your family and loved ones. It s also important to update the documents as your life changes. Be sure that the people named as authorized agents are people you trust to make the important decisions under stressful conditions. It is always better to be prepared early because you never know what is going to happen in the future.
Jonathan Geserick MBA, JD is a recognized expert in Wills, Estate Planning, and Probate. He is currently a licensed attorney in Texas. His website is a leading provider of professional Texas Wills and other estate planning documents.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_R_Geserick
A Gay Sane Christmas: 10 Tips for Making It Through the Holiday Blues
I asked my five-year old muse the other day, "what should mama write about?" Her response was romantic and simple, "About love and Christmas." I blame Disney for her fantastic belief in love; that will surely come back to bite me later in life, when she is older, and developed a better perspective of the complexity of love and people (until than I let her dream and embellish).
I am such a cynic, and honestly I have never really cared about the holidays. In fact, for over a decade this time of year has often upset me. People seem to become instantly caring, and grateful just as they are cleaning up their fake Christmas trees and decorating them. My belief is that the time of giving and gratitude should be practiced daily, all 365 days of a year. I suppose that is a greater task than just focusing on the thirty something days at the end of the year.
My girlfriend, who becomes a crazy fun loving Mrs. Clause the second Thanksgiving passes, blames my darkness for the festive season on being an orphan. She is utterly correct, although I would never admit it to her face. I have too much pride at stake.
True, the holidays are horrible for those without family or who have recently encountered a loss of some kind loss. The holidays can become a constant reminder of happier times, and we become triggered into depression by past losses, unresolved grief, ruminating over the past, contrasting between the images of holiday cheer and the reality of our lives, and a sense of increased loneliness and isolation.
In addition, it is also the most stressful time of the year. I become increasingly overwhelmed by the months being shorter due to public holidays, but the amount of work and due dates staying the same. We also have more thing to do, people to see, money to spend (which someone of us don't have), more traffic, more crowds, and longer waiting lines. All the extra demands on our time, financial resources, attention, and energy that is required in the festive season can bring us quickly crashing down.
It's been my signature move in the past to hibernate, and hide from the world for the next month. I would lie to everyone I know, telling them I already have plans and stay indoors where it is safe and sound from the chaos, and monstrous world known as "Christmas Time".
Unfortunately, my charade has been brutally ended by my loving partner who celebrates this time with full force, and has already designed the front yard to look like the North Pole landed in our neighborhood!
So I had to come up with a plan of keeping my sanity and here it is... my gift to you for Christmas:
And this is not a joke. Say the Serenity prayer. Use it like a mantra to get through the roughest of patches "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It does not matter what you believe in, if you believe in anything outside yourself even a door knob having the power of the universe, these three verses will resonate peace in you.
Organize your time. Making space for much needed rest. This is a good time to learn the sentence, "thank you, but I will not be able to do that."
Don't confront family and friends during this time of year on past resentment and upsets. It will feel similar to learning Chinese while in the middle of an argument. In addition, do not let anyone confront you either. Declare amnesty during this time or learn forgiveness, after all, it is the time of giving even if it is moments of peace.
Do not ruminate and compare the past to the present. It is futile and absolutely useless. Remembering the past fondly is very different to never forgetting or reliving it every day. As much as we hate the truth, the past is gone, and is never what we truly remember it to be. It is far easier to fantasize about what we thought or wanted in the past, than to stay focused on making our present the reality we desire. Do the work; get the reward- Stay Present!
Give back to your community. Volunteer if possible.
Save money by making gifts and doing small services for those you love. Also stay on budget, every year I budge my Christmas gifts. It saves me time and money. With my child, especially, it's about spending more time with her than buying her gifts.
Eat right and exercise. We go for walks and window shopping. It's fun and we get some fresh air.
Sleep. Don't party too hard that you burn yourself out. The New Year is coming; you want the past burdens of last year to be behind you, and be well rested for the future.
No big changes during this time. Wait just a few more weeks till the chaos has calmed down and your back to your schedule to change anything.
Enjoy the time off and laughter. Sometimes the holidays are a great time to self-punish and get into the victim thinking. Please stop right there. Everyday is a moment to become anew, to shed our old skin of the past and be free from our resentments and bitterness. You can either choose to punish yourself into misery and get a little sympathy or you can live and enjoy the world around you.
Good luck my fellow people! I am off to make my two girls at home Christmas dreams come true filled, with happiness and of course love.
Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru
I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Karydi
I am such a cynic, and honestly I have never really cared about the holidays. In fact, for over a decade this time of year has often upset me. People seem to become instantly caring, and grateful just as they are cleaning up their fake Christmas trees and decorating them. My belief is that the time of giving and gratitude should be practiced daily, all 365 days of a year. I suppose that is a greater task than just focusing on the thirty something days at the end of the year.
My girlfriend, who becomes a crazy fun loving Mrs. Clause the second Thanksgiving passes, blames my darkness for the festive season on being an orphan. She is utterly correct, although I would never admit it to her face. I have too much pride at stake.
True, the holidays are horrible for those without family or who have recently encountered a loss of some kind loss. The holidays can become a constant reminder of happier times, and we become triggered into depression by past losses, unresolved grief, ruminating over the past, contrasting between the images of holiday cheer and the reality of our lives, and a sense of increased loneliness and isolation.
In addition, it is also the most stressful time of the year. I become increasingly overwhelmed by the months being shorter due to public holidays, but the amount of work and due dates staying the same. We also have more thing to do, people to see, money to spend (which someone of us don't have), more traffic, more crowds, and longer waiting lines. All the extra demands on our time, financial resources, attention, and energy that is required in the festive season can bring us quickly crashing down.
It's been my signature move in the past to hibernate, and hide from the world for the next month. I would lie to everyone I know, telling them I already have plans and stay indoors where it is safe and sound from the chaos, and monstrous world known as "Christmas Time".
Unfortunately, my charade has been brutally ended by my loving partner who celebrates this time with full force, and has already designed the front yard to look like the North Pole landed in our neighborhood!
So I had to come up with a plan of keeping my sanity and here it is... my gift to you for Christmas:
And this is not a joke. Say the Serenity prayer. Use it like a mantra to get through the roughest of patches "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It does not matter what you believe in, if you believe in anything outside yourself even a door knob having the power of the universe, these three verses will resonate peace in you.
Organize your time. Making space for much needed rest. This is a good time to learn the sentence, "thank you, but I will not be able to do that."
Don't confront family and friends during this time of year on past resentment and upsets. It will feel similar to learning Chinese while in the middle of an argument. In addition, do not let anyone confront you either. Declare amnesty during this time or learn forgiveness, after all, it is the time of giving even if it is moments of peace.
Do not ruminate and compare the past to the present. It is futile and absolutely useless. Remembering the past fondly is very different to never forgetting or reliving it every day. As much as we hate the truth, the past is gone, and is never what we truly remember it to be. It is far easier to fantasize about what we thought or wanted in the past, than to stay focused on making our present the reality we desire. Do the work; get the reward- Stay Present!
Give back to your community. Volunteer if possible.
Save money by making gifts and doing small services for those you love. Also stay on budget, every year I budge my Christmas gifts. It saves me time and money. With my child, especially, it's about spending more time with her than buying her gifts.
Eat right and exercise. We go for walks and window shopping. It's fun and we get some fresh air.
Sleep. Don't party too hard that you burn yourself out. The New Year is coming; you want the past burdens of last year to be behind you, and be well rested for the future.
No big changes during this time. Wait just a few more weeks till the chaos has calmed down and your back to your schedule to change anything.
Enjoy the time off and laughter. Sometimes the holidays are a great time to self-punish and get into the victim thinking. Please stop right there. Everyday is a moment to become anew, to shed our old skin of the past and be free from our resentments and bitterness. You can either choose to punish yourself into misery and get a little sympathy or you can live and enjoy the world around you.
Good luck my fellow people! I am off to make my two girls at home Christmas dreams come true filled, with happiness and of course love.
Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru
I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Karydi
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Working With Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Clients
Last Tuesday (12th October 2010) was "National Coming out Day" in the UK. To quote Wikipedia, this is "an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues". It seems appropriate then, for this week's blog post to be about working with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
I'll start off with stating that I don't give two hoots whether you are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgender. We are all OK and there are no goods or bads, rights or wrongs, there's just us.
I believe that human sexuality is a continuum, it's a grey scale and we are all somewhere on it. This seems to be backed up by research by Kinsey (1953) and Klein (1985). Klein went further and suggested that there is fluidity to our sexuality throughout time. There is no doubt in my mind that our sexuality plays an important part of defining who we are and this is an issue that we all must examine regardless of our sexual orientation.
As part of my therapeutic practice, I regularly work with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients and same-sex couples. My pointer is towards the heterosexual side of that grey scale. I think it's important to explore how I, a straight man, can work effectively with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients. If I have never experienced the many issues that lesbian, gay and bisexual people face growing up or in their everyday lives as a result of the homophobia and heterosexism inherent in our society, then how could I help?
For me it's about becoming aware of the issues that only my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients face. It's also being honest with my clients and having a dialogue about how sometimes I may miss the significance of something in their life because I have had no experience of it myself. I always endevour to create a relationship whereby I can learn from my clients just as they learn from me. I work hard to keep up to date with current literature on LGBT issues and I talk to my lesbian and gay friends about their life experiences (though, if I'm honest, we actually spend more time talking about who put in the best performance on X-factor!).
Issues that need accounting for with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
Societal oppression - It wasn't too many years ago that homosexuality was illegal in this country. In the USA, LGBT couples still have few rights in some states.
Homophobia - Within society this can take many forms from violence and victimization to subtle discrimination in the workplace. Some LGBT people lose contact with family and friends as a result of coming out. Others dare not come out for fear of losing those around them that they love or of persecution from others who would not accept their sexuality.
Heterosexism - the belief that opposite sex relationships are superior to same sex relationships. This sometimes has a major impact on same sex couples both from the perception of the validity of their relationship from society, but also the acknowledgment of their relationship from their family and friends.
Internalised Homophobia - The feelings that some LGBT individuals have that they are "defective" which can result in self-hatred, guilt and lack of belief that they could ever have a successful same sex relationship. We can work through these issues in therapy and it can sometimes be a slow and painful process that leads to self-acceptance and pride in who they are.
Issues only same-sex couples have to deal with:
Homophobia and heterosexism in the community - this can create fear about committing to a same sex long term relationship for some lesbian and gay people.
Lack of "role models" for how to have a same sex relationship - this can lead to confusion over boundaries, expectations and obligations within the relationship.
Generally lower levels of family support - When things get tough some LGBT couples find it difficult to get help, advice and support from their family.
The same-sex nature of the relationship increases the chances of certain problems if both partners conform to traditional gender roles - Lesbian couples can have problems with emotional fusion whilst gay men may find they are emotionally disengaged from each other or in competition.
Bisexual clients may have to deal with another set of issues all together, including the confusing state of being "too queer" for heterosexual society and "not queer enough" for the homosexual one.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that these issues would be the focus of the work I do with a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender client. We all bring our own stuff to therapy regardless of our sexuality. What I'm saying is that these issues need to be kept in mind and tackled when they come up. I don't need to be gay to do that, just as I don't need to be black in order to empathise with the pain of being racially discriminated against.
Ultimately for me, I like working with people. I get a buzz out of helping people change, grow and realise their potential. Whether you are straight or gay, black, blue or green, I'm there for you if you need the support.
References
Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & martin, C.E (1953). Sexual behaviour in the human male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Company.
Klein, F., Sepekoff, B, & Wolf, T.J (1985). Sexual orientation: A multi-variable dynamic process. Journal of Homosexuality, 11 (1/2), 35-50.
If you need more help, advice or support on lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender issues I can recommend the Lesbian and Gay Foundation, which is based in Manchester.
Ian Tomlinson runs Manchester Psychotherapy and provides therapy and counselling in Manchester.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Tomlinson
I'll start off with stating that I don't give two hoots whether you are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgender. We are all OK and there are no goods or bads, rights or wrongs, there's just us.
I believe that human sexuality is a continuum, it's a grey scale and we are all somewhere on it. This seems to be backed up by research by Kinsey (1953) and Klein (1985). Klein went further and suggested that there is fluidity to our sexuality throughout time. There is no doubt in my mind that our sexuality plays an important part of defining who we are and this is an issue that we all must examine regardless of our sexual orientation.
As part of my therapeutic practice, I regularly work with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients and same-sex couples. My pointer is towards the heterosexual side of that grey scale. I think it's important to explore how I, a straight man, can work effectively with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients. If I have never experienced the many issues that lesbian, gay and bisexual people face growing up or in their everyday lives as a result of the homophobia and heterosexism inherent in our society, then how could I help?
For me it's about becoming aware of the issues that only my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients face. It's also being honest with my clients and having a dialogue about how sometimes I may miss the significance of something in their life because I have had no experience of it myself. I always endevour to create a relationship whereby I can learn from my clients just as they learn from me. I work hard to keep up to date with current literature on LGBT issues and I talk to my lesbian and gay friends about their life experiences (though, if I'm honest, we actually spend more time talking about who put in the best performance on X-factor!).
Issues that need accounting for with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients.
Societal oppression - It wasn't too many years ago that homosexuality was illegal in this country. In the USA, LGBT couples still have few rights in some states.
Homophobia - Within society this can take many forms from violence and victimization to subtle discrimination in the workplace. Some LGBT people lose contact with family and friends as a result of coming out. Others dare not come out for fear of losing those around them that they love or of persecution from others who would not accept their sexuality.
Heterosexism - the belief that opposite sex relationships are superior to same sex relationships. This sometimes has a major impact on same sex couples both from the perception of the validity of their relationship from society, but also the acknowledgment of their relationship from their family and friends.
Internalised Homophobia - The feelings that some LGBT individuals have that they are "defective" which can result in self-hatred, guilt and lack of belief that they could ever have a successful same sex relationship. We can work through these issues in therapy and it can sometimes be a slow and painful process that leads to self-acceptance and pride in who they are.
Issues only same-sex couples have to deal with:
Homophobia and heterosexism in the community - this can create fear about committing to a same sex long term relationship for some lesbian and gay people.
Lack of "role models" for how to have a same sex relationship - this can lead to confusion over boundaries, expectations and obligations within the relationship.
Generally lower levels of family support - When things get tough some LGBT couples find it difficult to get help, advice and support from their family.
The same-sex nature of the relationship increases the chances of certain problems if both partners conform to traditional gender roles - Lesbian couples can have problems with emotional fusion whilst gay men may find they are emotionally disengaged from each other or in competition.
Bisexual clients may have to deal with another set of issues all together, including the confusing state of being "too queer" for heterosexual society and "not queer enough" for the homosexual one.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that these issues would be the focus of the work I do with a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender client. We all bring our own stuff to therapy regardless of our sexuality. What I'm saying is that these issues need to be kept in mind and tackled when they come up. I don't need to be gay to do that, just as I don't need to be black in order to empathise with the pain of being racially discriminated against.
Ultimately for me, I like working with people. I get a buzz out of helping people change, grow and realise their potential. Whether you are straight or gay, black, blue or green, I'm there for you if you need the support.
References
Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & martin, C.E (1953). Sexual behaviour in the human male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Company.
Klein, F., Sepekoff, B, & Wolf, T.J (1985). Sexual orientation: A multi-variable dynamic process. Journal of Homosexuality, 11 (1/2), 35-50.
If you need more help, advice or support on lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender issues I can recommend the Lesbian and Gay Foundation, which is based in Manchester.
Ian Tomlinson runs Manchester Psychotherapy and provides therapy and counselling in Manchester.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Tomlinson
Gay And Lesbian Marriage In The Church
Written from a heterosexual Christian perspective (Bible quotes taken from the NIV) sure to anger people on both sides.
She's... goin' to the chapel and she's... gonna get married. Today, my youngest cousin is getting married. She seems excited, hopefully committed, and "in love." The ceremony will take place in a small church in a fairly quiet southern city. The same church she and her girlfriend have been attending for a few years now. None of her family will attend (I would actually but can't). In fact, no one in her family approves of this marriage. This is the Bible Belt after all and marriage is clearly defined as a sacred union between a man and a woman right? Or a man and several women? Many of the passages in the Bible that are used for our modern Christian definition of marriage have been taken from the Old Testament where some of the biggest heroes also come packing multiple wives (no need for divorce, just marry someone else and put the old wife on kitchen duty). I'm not saying that I, personally, don't believe marriage should be between one man and one woman but you can bet my wife does! What I am saying is that it's possible to try applying verses in situations where they don't quite fit. Like the one that says we should throw rocks at a woman caught cheating on her husband until she's dead.
Will The Real Judge Please Stand Up! A few thousand years ago a woman was dragged to the temple (the center of worship and law in Jerusalem) where Jesus was teaching. Those that brought her were the religious leaders of the day- beyond rebuke and full of authority. Her's was an open and shut case: she was caught in the act of adultery! She had no excuse and the penalty was clear and precise: death by stoning. Of course, these religious hypocrites were just using this woman's situation to trap Jesus into denying the law of Moses (I think they knew he would never stomach the cruel death of a wayward woman) but I also think they came fully prepared to carry the death sentence out. Finally, Jesus spoke. He told the angry crowd that the one without sin should cast the first stone. And only Jesus qualified. Only Jesus ever does. One by one they dropped their stones and walked away. Not surprisingly, the older men left first. When they were all gone he asked the woman where her accusers were. He asked her who, after examining their own hearts, still had the gall to claim a pure and sinless life to throw that first stone. She replied "No one, sir." Now, Jesus didn't excuse adultery. He didn't say adultery was natural and should be celebrated. But he did say "Then neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." True to form, his words are both merciful and righteous. He had nothing positive to say about her actions- he didn't celebrate adultery- but the only thing he threw at this guilty woman was mercy. It's interesting to note that the only execution Jesus openly approved of was his own.
Sin Or Not Sin? This is where the discussion gets offensive to many people. Even though I am convinced that it isn't some "super sin" towering above many others that we tolerate (gluttony, greed, laziness, lying, coveting, lust, wrath, etc.), it is still a sin according to the Bible. I've read some pretty deep commentaries trying to spin it the other way but nothing convincing. You may as well use the Bible to argue that lust and greed aren't sins as well. And, like every sin, it comes with its own peculiar set of consequences and challenges. I will say this though- I think it's a lot more complicated than I was ever taught in Sunday school!
But Isn't Homosexuality A Unique Sin? Sin is a curious snake. When it points to something in my life, especially something I have little-to-no control over, then I think of it in different terms. Words like: struggle, shortcoming, personality, bad habit, flaw, imperfection, quirk, addiction, etc. All words that put sin against God in a softer light. Some even shifting the blame from my shoulders entirely! When it points to something that I don't understand and have no sympathy for or temptation with, then it becomes black and white: SIN. Homosexuality might seem unique to me but to God it just gets in line on the sin list and waits, like the rest, to be wiped out one day. In fact, here's a couple of lists (including homosexuality) that will damn you to hell. "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." (Rev 21:8) "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Cor 6:9-11). The best sin list, in my opinion, is the one Jesus makes us assume with a simple and impossible command: "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matt 5:48). I might be able to duck, dodge and dive my way out of Paul & John's lists but Jesus leaves no wiggle room. We are all sinful and our only hope is for a perfect savior to miraculously take our sins away and give us a righteousness that we had no power to earn. A washing we can't do, a sanctification we can't comprehend and a justification we don't deserve. Paul penned another sin list in his first letter to Timothy. It included all the usual things (including sexual immorality) and ended on, what would seem at first glance, an odd note for the holy apostle used to communicate almost half of the new testament: "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." (1 Tim 1:15-16). Is homosexuality a unique sin? Only if all other sins are unique as well. Does it seem weird to me? Yes... but only because I don't struggle (there's that soft word) with it like I do many other sins. What I'm trying to say might become more clear when compared with another sexual sin... say, adultery.
Adultery Vs. Homosexuality: Cage Match! Just to put things in perspective, try doing a quick search over at BibleGateway for the two words. Different translations slightly skew the results but even the anti-gay picketers would have to admit that the Bible has a lot more to say about adultery than it does homosexuality. It strikes me as odd that the church should come down so hard on this type of illegitimate union when 2nd, 3rd, and even 14th marriages just get a head-shaking sigh. After all, it was adultery (not homosexuality) that made it in the big ten chiseled on stone at Mt. Sinai... coming in at number seven. And, before we start looking down on these horrible adulterers, we should hear what Jesus (the one whose judgement counts) considers to be adultery: "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." And if that doesn't seem bleak enough for you: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Mark 5)This face off between adultery & homosexuality was just a gimmick to try illustrating the fact that we're all on the same sinking ship of sin. If adultery doesn't hit your heart, replace it with the biggest thorn in your flesh. Anyone who claims any merit outside of Christ is on dangerous ground. And really, only those who believe they have no sin should worry (but those "holy people" won't read this far anyway).
Born That Way? A large number of people believe homosexuals chose their sexual disposition (maybe a subconscious act of immoral rebellion?). And a large number of people believe homosexuals were born that way (a side-effect of the fall... maybe genetic confusion?). This is anecdotal but, I was born heterosexual. I never chose to be straight (I just am) and I sure wouldn't choose to be gay. And I think I am both natural and normal in that respect. I'm definitely not perfect- I sin everyday- and I don't feel better than any of the homosexuals I've known but it's just not my particular weakness. I would hope most gays and lesbians could admit that the heterosexual model is natural- what we were designed for and what brought them life. And, to be blunt, the Bible does refer to homosexuality as unnatural (Rev 1:26-27). No homosexual would be alive today were it not for the natural union between a man and a woman. But back to the question of choice... There's an odd passage in Romans that has always puzzled me: "...God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another." (Rom 1:26-27) My question comes at the beginning: "God gave them over..." Does that mean they were already leaning toward homosexuality and God just threw up His hands or does it mean that God caused this sexual confusion as a form of punishment? If we use that passage alone, it looks like these "shameful lusts" were not explicitly chosen. The first chapter of Romans is pretty dark. I'm glad it has a few more chapters! I should also add that it's not really our place to judge whether or not someone was born gay. It's enough to know we are all sinful. Here's another relevant passage: "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things." (Rom 2:1)
So What's A Homosexual To Do? I guess the same thing the rest of us sinners do... put all their chips down on Christ and what He accomplished on the cross. Trust God. If you keep reading Romans, if you can make it through the harsh state of things at the beginning, there is a bright light of hope for all us sinners. "Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:4-5) Does that mean we can just keep on sinning because God will save us regardless as long as we put our faith in Jesus? No, it doesn't. But we will and God knows our hearts- He knew the only way to save us sinners was to provide both our forgiveness (through Christ's sacrifice) and our righteousness (through Christ's perfect life) until the day all sin is destroyed. This world and all the sinfulness in it will pass away and those with faith in Jesus Christ will be cleansed and renewed in holiness, no longer sinful by nature but as they were meant to be in the beginning: innocent and pure. Until then, we're all sinners in need of grace and love.
Nathan is currently exploring grace at http://www.AnotherSinner.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_O'Neal
She's... goin' to the chapel and she's... gonna get married. Today, my youngest cousin is getting married. She seems excited, hopefully committed, and "in love." The ceremony will take place in a small church in a fairly quiet southern city. The same church she and her girlfriend have been attending for a few years now. None of her family will attend (I would actually but can't). In fact, no one in her family approves of this marriage. This is the Bible Belt after all and marriage is clearly defined as a sacred union between a man and a woman right? Or a man and several women? Many of the passages in the Bible that are used for our modern Christian definition of marriage have been taken from the Old Testament where some of the biggest heroes also come packing multiple wives (no need for divorce, just marry someone else and put the old wife on kitchen duty). I'm not saying that I, personally, don't believe marriage should be between one man and one woman but you can bet my wife does! What I am saying is that it's possible to try applying verses in situations where they don't quite fit. Like the one that says we should throw rocks at a woman caught cheating on her husband until she's dead.
Will The Real Judge Please Stand Up! A few thousand years ago a woman was dragged to the temple (the center of worship and law in Jerusalem) where Jesus was teaching. Those that brought her were the religious leaders of the day- beyond rebuke and full of authority. Her's was an open and shut case: she was caught in the act of adultery! She had no excuse and the penalty was clear and precise: death by stoning. Of course, these religious hypocrites were just using this woman's situation to trap Jesus into denying the law of Moses (I think they knew he would never stomach the cruel death of a wayward woman) but I also think they came fully prepared to carry the death sentence out. Finally, Jesus spoke. He told the angry crowd that the one without sin should cast the first stone. And only Jesus qualified. Only Jesus ever does. One by one they dropped their stones and walked away. Not surprisingly, the older men left first. When they were all gone he asked the woman where her accusers were. He asked her who, after examining their own hearts, still had the gall to claim a pure and sinless life to throw that first stone. She replied "No one, sir." Now, Jesus didn't excuse adultery. He didn't say adultery was natural and should be celebrated. But he did say "Then neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." True to form, his words are both merciful and righteous. He had nothing positive to say about her actions- he didn't celebrate adultery- but the only thing he threw at this guilty woman was mercy. It's interesting to note that the only execution Jesus openly approved of was his own.
Sin Or Not Sin? This is where the discussion gets offensive to many people. Even though I am convinced that it isn't some "super sin" towering above many others that we tolerate (gluttony, greed, laziness, lying, coveting, lust, wrath, etc.), it is still a sin according to the Bible. I've read some pretty deep commentaries trying to spin it the other way but nothing convincing. You may as well use the Bible to argue that lust and greed aren't sins as well. And, like every sin, it comes with its own peculiar set of consequences and challenges. I will say this though- I think it's a lot more complicated than I was ever taught in Sunday school!
But Isn't Homosexuality A Unique Sin? Sin is a curious snake. When it points to something in my life, especially something I have little-to-no control over, then I think of it in different terms. Words like: struggle, shortcoming, personality, bad habit, flaw, imperfection, quirk, addiction, etc. All words that put sin against God in a softer light. Some even shifting the blame from my shoulders entirely! When it points to something that I don't understand and have no sympathy for or temptation with, then it becomes black and white: SIN. Homosexuality might seem unique to me but to God it just gets in line on the sin list and waits, like the rest, to be wiped out one day. In fact, here's a couple of lists (including homosexuality) that will damn you to hell. "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." (Rev 21:8) "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Cor 6:9-11). The best sin list, in my opinion, is the one Jesus makes us assume with a simple and impossible command: "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matt 5:48). I might be able to duck, dodge and dive my way out of Paul & John's lists but Jesus leaves no wiggle room. We are all sinful and our only hope is for a perfect savior to miraculously take our sins away and give us a righteousness that we had no power to earn. A washing we can't do, a sanctification we can't comprehend and a justification we don't deserve. Paul penned another sin list in his first letter to Timothy. It included all the usual things (including sexual immorality) and ended on, what would seem at first glance, an odd note for the holy apostle used to communicate almost half of the new testament: "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." (1 Tim 1:15-16). Is homosexuality a unique sin? Only if all other sins are unique as well. Does it seem weird to me? Yes... but only because I don't struggle (there's that soft word) with it like I do many other sins. What I'm trying to say might become more clear when compared with another sexual sin... say, adultery.
Adultery Vs. Homosexuality: Cage Match! Just to put things in perspective, try doing a quick search over at BibleGateway for the two words. Different translations slightly skew the results but even the anti-gay picketers would have to admit that the Bible has a lot more to say about adultery than it does homosexuality. It strikes me as odd that the church should come down so hard on this type of illegitimate union when 2nd, 3rd, and even 14th marriages just get a head-shaking sigh. After all, it was adultery (not homosexuality) that made it in the big ten chiseled on stone at Mt. Sinai... coming in at number seven. And, before we start looking down on these horrible adulterers, we should hear what Jesus (the one whose judgement counts) considers to be adultery: "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." And if that doesn't seem bleak enough for you: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Mark 5)This face off between adultery & homosexuality was just a gimmick to try illustrating the fact that we're all on the same sinking ship of sin. If adultery doesn't hit your heart, replace it with the biggest thorn in your flesh. Anyone who claims any merit outside of Christ is on dangerous ground. And really, only those who believe they have no sin should worry (but those "holy people" won't read this far anyway).
Born That Way? A large number of people believe homosexuals chose their sexual disposition (maybe a subconscious act of immoral rebellion?). And a large number of people believe homosexuals were born that way (a side-effect of the fall... maybe genetic confusion?). This is anecdotal but, I was born heterosexual. I never chose to be straight (I just am) and I sure wouldn't choose to be gay. And I think I am both natural and normal in that respect. I'm definitely not perfect- I sin everyday- and I don't feel better than any of the homosexuals I've known but it's just not my particular weakness. I would hope most gays and lesbians could admit that the heterosexual model is natural- what we were designed for and what brought them life. And, to be blunt, the Bible does refer to homosexuality as unnatural (Rev 1:26-27). No homosexual would be alive today were it not for the natural union between a man and a woman. But back to the question of choice... There's an odd passage in Romans that has always puzzled me: "...God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another." (Rom 1:26-27) My question comes at the beginning: "God gave them over..." Does that mean they were already leaning toward homosexuality and God just threw up His hands or does it mean that God caused this sexual confusion as a form of punishment? If we use that passage alone, it looks like these "shameful lusts" were not explicitly chosen. The first chapter of Romans is pretty dark. I'm glad it has a few more chapters! I should also add that it's not really our place to judge whether or not someone was born gay. It's enough to know we are all sinful. Here's another relevant passage: "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things." (Rom 2:1)
So What's A Homosexual To Do? I guess the same thing the rest of us sinners do... put all their chips down on Christ and what He accomplished on the cross. Trust God. If you keep reading Romans, if you can make it through the harsh state of things at the beginning, there is a bright light of hope for all us sinners. "Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:4-5) Does that mean we can just keep on sinning because God will save us regardless as long as we put our faith in Jesus? No, it doesn't. But we will and God knows our hearts- He knew the only way to save us sinners was to provide both our forgiveness (through Christ's sacrifice) and our righteousness (through Christ's perfect life) until the day all sin is destroyed. This world and all the sinfulness in it will pass away and those with faith in Jesus Christ will be cleansed and renewed in holiness, no longer sinful by nature but as they were meant to be in the beginning: innocent and pure. Until then, we're all sinners in need of grace and love.
Nathan is currently exploring grace at http://www.AnotherSinner.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_O'Neal
Free Gay Chatrooms
Do a search for 'free gay chat rooms' and a giant list comes up however so many of them say they are free and are really not. Gay chat rooms are quite often the target for gay bashers and people who visit these free gay chat rooms that are not gay and are there just to harass people. There are 2 totally free chat rooms online. The great thing is that these chatrooms are part of a larger and legit gay dating community and website.
There is Pride gay chat. Pride has both regular and even webcam chat if you want things to get a little more personal. The only requirement to participate is that you create a free profile which really only takes about 5 minutes and then you have full and complete access to all their introduction services including the free gay chat rooms.
Metrodate gay chatrooms is for both gay and lesbian singles and is quite large. Like the Pride rooms the only requirement to participate is that you create a free and brief profile so you don't show up in the chat list as 'guest12234' which is anything but intimate and personal. The only downside to Metrodate chat is you must be a United States citizen.
These two free chatrooms are both totally free and safe. At anytime you wish you can also take advantage of their free gay dating services as well as another avenue to meet gay singles online. The important thing, however, is that they are both free.
Pride Free Chatrooms | Metrodates Gay Chatrooms
Visit the largest dating list online for a list of both gay dating sites and lesbian dating sites.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shannon_Sapperstein
There is Pride gay chat. Pride has both regular and even webcam chat if you want things to get a little more personal. The only requirement to participate is that you create a free profile which really only takes about 5 minutes and then you have full and complete access to all their introduction services including the free gay chat rooms.
Metrodate gay chatrooms is for both gay and lesbian singles and is quite large. Like the Pride rooms the only requirement to participate is that you create a free and brief profile so you don't show up in the chat list as 'guest12234' which is anything but intimate and personal. The only downside to Metrodate chat is you must be a United States citizen.
These two free chatrooms are both totally free and safe. At anytime you wish you can also take advantage of their free gay dating services as well as another avenue to meet gay singles online. The important thing, however, is that they are both free.
Pride Free Chatrooms | Metrodates Gay Chatrooms
Visit the largest dating list online for a list of both gay dating sites and lesbian dating sites.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shannon_Sapperstein
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